The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘roommate’

My Zombie Roomy (8/25/11)

The Zombie came home today with this sneaky little grin on his face that was … ok fine I’ll say it – it was adorable. It feels weird to say that about a guy, let alone an undead guy, but it’s the truth.

Anyhow – he was carrying a bag from Target, sort of swinging it around happily like you can’t help but do sometimes when you’ve got a bag from a candy shop.

I pointed to the bag and said, “mind if I …” and he got the picture. He held the bag out, opened it up, and I glanced in.

It was at this point that I remembered my roommate is not a normal, boyish fellow with a bag but a Zombie (with a bag).

Thankfully, the contents were not Zombie snacks, though they were weird:

  • Pack of D Batteries
  • Sunglasses
  • A box of condoms

I have nothing to support this but I think the Zombie had a date tonight!!

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (8/16/11)

Remember when the Zombie was going through a weird weight-concerned phase? Well, it’s back. Only now it’s me who is concerned.

The Zombie has put on a lot of weight, and not like a human would. The Zombie has started carrying a backpack at all times, and it is insanely full. I don’t know what is in that thing but it must be from some fancy backpack shop like REI because how has it not broken?

I tried to look what is inside one time but he got angry and swatted me away. I told him I respect his privacy and wouldn’t look. He responded by offering a dance fight (our traditional Friday night thing if I’ve got no other plans). We danced for a while and I felt a lot better.

Until I noticed the jumbo-sized bottle of Gatorade with a hand in it.

However, I love a good joke, so I took out a bottle of regular Gatorade and said cheers, and the Zombie ate a hand while I drank Gatorade. Dance fights make me so thirsty.

It’s disconcerting how ok I am with the Zombie’s eating habits. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t let the Zombie eat in my house but now I allowed him to break that rule. We’ll see how this pans out.

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (6/30/11)

I think the Zombie must have heard the phrase ‘water weight’ somewhere.

(I keep finding woman’s health magazines in my apartment. I don’t have the heart to tell the Zombie that diet/exercise tips for humans, let alone human women, probably don’t work for him.)

In the meantime, any sitting water he gets rid of ASAP. I got a cup of water, took a sip, walked away, and when I came back he’d poured it out. And he gave me a dirty look for having left it sitting out.

On the plus side my place seems slightly cleaner. Any dish sitting out is immediately taken to the sink.

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My Zombie Roomy

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