Boredom …
Hello, free time … it’s so nice to see you …
(The ‘me’ to the far right was a bit off with the camera angle – so I had to shrink me. I kind of like it, though.)
Posts tagged ‘weird’
Weekly Wacko (38)
I’m a crazy person. It’s a fact.
Something has been happening since I moved into my apartment that most guys, I’m sure, would be excited about. But for me, the crazy person, it’s cause for concern.
I have been living here for five months, and I’ve gotten TWELVE Victoria’s Secret catalogs! How crazy is that!?
I have a theory behind it, and it’s based loosely on lies, and largely on more lies. Here we go.
Victoria’s Secret has aligned themselves with some very conservative church. One of those, “we’ll cure you of your gayness” churches. (I’m sure they have lovely language to describe the camp names where they “cure” you.) Victoria’s Secret has done this because heterosexual couples are more likely to produce babies than homosexual couples (my friends Joe and Jimmy have been trying for ages to have a kid and it’s, like, impossible). More babies mean more people, more people means more people wearing bras. Cash flow. It’s all about the money.
The next question is why does the church/Victoria’s Secret think I’m gay? I think it relates to the picture below. I have a sense of style that is KILLER. You may have heard the phrase “dress to impress.” That’s because my birth name was “Impress.” (That doesn’t actually make any sense – but that’s kind of the theme of this post.)
(Isn’t that the most rad jacket ever?)
Weekly Wacko (29)
Kids These Days!
Note: This happened in California, and I wrote this while still living in California.
One day after work I decided I didn’t want to make any food. This is common enough. I also didn’t want to drive, so that limited me to one of the few fast food places within easy walking distance.
I left my apartment and was still on the street in my neighborhood. I live in a small apartment complex and am mostly surrounded by houses. This makes it feel more like the neighborhoods I’m used to, which is nice.
Three middle school-aged girls were walking in my direction. I was on the phone, calling my sister (she and I both will call each other to help kill time while walking somewhere or driving somewhere – though I do it much more often than she does. Sorry E$).
While passing me one of the girls yelled, “you’re cute!”
I thought this was pretty funny. Ah, to be young and loud and whatever else they are.
Unexpectedly, I heard a slight noise behind me and then –
SLAP!
One of the girls had doubled back, run up behind me and took it upon herself to slap me on the rear end. The old tuchus. After doing this she began to run away while the other girls giggled like hyenas. She yelled, while still running away, “I like your butt!”
Around that time my sister answer and tried to figure out why I was at the same time scared, amused, and more flattered than I’d care to admit.
DumbFunnery 