The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘work’

Another Day at the Job

There are a lot of jobs out there that are tough, and I think every job can be tough on some days. No matter how cushy the job may seem, I am sure there are times when it is rough.

For example – the music clip person at a sporting event.

If we are talking about football you might be tempted to think they just have ten buttons in front of them and they play one of their go to songs at random.

But what if the music clip person was working for, say, this past years Houston Texans who fell far short of expectations and disappointed fans with a 2-14 season. Ouch. Suddenly your job just got a lot tougher.

You’re losing to … who cares … there’s still the whole fourth quarter to go and you have a first down for your defense (after your offense had a three and out). What do you play to amp up the crowd during the TV timeout? It’s crunch time, you need to use your brain, sound person!

Do you jump the gun, use false hopes and play the “THIIIIIIIRD DOWWWWWWWN!” clip? Maybe.
“All I Do is Win”? Eh … Best not to, given the score.
“Everybody Clap Your Hands”? Hmm. It’s already been played twenty-seven times this game.
Time to get crazy. Let’s go with …

What, too honest?

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Du Jour of the Week

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Post-Thanksgiving Work Chat Dos and Do Nots

On Monday I’ll be back at work and it will be as exciting as ever. Productivity should be slow in the morning because of the post-vacation catch-up chit chat.

Here are some simple do’s and do not’s for all you socially inept folks out there.

Do:

Co-worker: Hey, how was your Thanksgiving?
You: It was great! Good food, saw family, slept lots! (Fake laugh!)

Don’t:

Co-worker: Hey, how was your Thanksgiving?
You: I rode my bicycle through an Indian Reservation and screamed happy Thanksgiving.
Co-worker: That … Um …

Do:

Co-worker: I clearly ate too much pumpkin pie over Thanksgiving! (Fake laugh!)
You: Tell me about it! We should be allowed to wear sweatpants to work the week after Thanksgiving! (Fake laugh!)

Don’t:

Co-worker: I clearly ate too much pumpkin pie over Thanksgiving! (Fake laugh!)
You: Yeah … It was just Thanksgiving that did you in …

Do:

You: Oh hey, how was your Thanksgiving?
Co-worker: (Long-winded stories.)

Don’t:

You: Oh God, are you serious? I know you’re about to tell me the EXACT SAME stories you JUST told the guy who sits next to me! You really think I want to listen to that again?
Co-worker: …

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Du Jour of the Week

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Corporate Brad Update

Lately I have found that I needed to spruce up my work persona. You see, I have not shaved for about a month and it’s drawing comments (notable comparisons: Lincoln, Wolverine, guy who stopped trying). While this is not that big a deal because I am a software engineer and one of my co-workers likes wearing an old t-shirt with cats on it, I do feel like I should try to counter this lazy look with something.Ol Beardy

Maybe some co-workers see the facial hair and think, “he must be a hard worker because he has stopped grooming himself, so that extra energy is now going towards heavy mental lifting.” Other co-workers may see me and think, “there goes Brad, I bet he’s going to sit at his desk and write a poem about oak trees. Or something.”

What better way to counter potential negative reactions than by making myself seem more productive!

Here’s the Solution …

Business.

Sure, we all know the definition. Business is, you know, an entity that makes money or whatever. But what about business as … a verb!

“Where are you going?”
“I have to go to business a Todd meeting.”
“…What’s that mean?”
“Sorry, no time, business.”
“Woah … He’s important.”

Nevermind the fact that I don’t work with a guy named Todd – The person will be flabbergasted by my business acuity. Or should I say the person will be business’d by my business acuity. (More like a business cutey! What? That doesn’t make sense. Shh, yes it does.)

Business this idea over in your brain, and let me know what you think. Meanwhile, I’ve got some important documents to business.

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