The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

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Back From California

Hello blogosphere, I am back! Here are a few reflections having returned from the great state of heavenly weather …

  • When I graduated from college I got a job in northern California and I had no idea how good I had it. The weather, San Francisco, the fresh fruits! Oh past self, I envy you your strawberries.
  • A relaxing vacation of doing nothing is a bit tough to have when surrounded by six nephews and nieces.
  • One day, I would NOT like to have six children. That is an easy realization.
  • Going for a long relaxing walk on a pier is enjoyable. Seeing that a fisherman caught a 5 or so foot long shark at the end of the pier is cool (sharks are neat to look at). Going into the ocean the next day and trying to calculate the distance between you and where the shark was caught is a bad frame of mind to be in.
  • Watching a baby try a lime for the first time is pretty entertaining.
  • Staring at a different baby covered in sand is mind-boggling. How are you so comfortable? I would be miserable … Wait are you EATING SAND? Oh gosh!, no!, gross!, EW!
  • Legoland and the San Diego Zoo are magical places, assuming you can afford the admission cost.

 

Good job California! Keep up the good work!

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“Portrait of a Boy” by Chaim Soutine

Portrait of a Boy Chaim Soutine

Portrait of a Boy, by Chaim Soutine, 1928

Father: Hi Chaim, nice to meet you.

Chaim: Hello, it’s nice to –

Boy: Father?

Father: Yes, please, one second, I’m talking to the artist.

Chaim: I will be painting your son today?

Father: Yes.

Chaim: Do you have any special requests?

Father: Make him look sassy. And like half his face is melting off.

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Listen Up, Nestea!

Don’t wanna get nasty
Just wanna get Nestea

That’s your new campaign slogan. What do you think? Ok, fine, you’re not immediately sold. Allow me to explain my brilliance!

What do you do with it? Oh I don’t know, sell records amount of tea!! (And sex.)

You have male and female based ad campaigns. See in the male version a young, attractive man implies offering sexual favors for Nestea. See!? Brilliant! Now you understand your new slogan.

In the female version, get ready, you do the exact same thing as in the male version.

It’s already entered our pop culture vernacular … mostly. Sexting, with a minor twist, is the same as sexteang.

You could have that one song, Blurred Lines, as the song in your commercial. Robin Thicke can be your spokesperson.

How am I not already an advertising billionaire!?

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