The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Du Jour of the Week’ Category

De Jour of the Week (1/24/11)

I know I’ve already touched on this – but seriously it’s gross when people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. Especially, as one co-worker does, if they’ve just used the stall and don’t wash their hand.

People are Gross

It’s 230 and something’s the matter
And the matter is my bladder

At lunch, free refills on coke? I’ll take another round
My ability to stop could not be found

And now it’s 230 and there’s that pressing MATTER
Yes, it’s my grandpa bladder

Up, up, and away to the little boys room
An ‘accident’ at work would be office-talk doom

There’s Jerry, there’s Bob – the fellas sit a few cubes over
The urinals sing, red rover, red rover, send bladders right over

Sweet relief! I couldn’t be happier
I head to the sinks to clean my hands this day once more

There … goes … Jerry?
That stinking, disgusting, I never want to share a stapler, printer, office with … Jerry.

Homeboy doesn’t even LOOK at the sink!
He checked himself out in the mirror, but all I see is a fink.

And Bob. Oh, Bob. He rinsed his hands then ‘touched up’ his hair
(Though to be fair, let’s be honest Bob, there’s not much there)

Bob, it’s called soap
Learn it, live it, love it, you dope

Bob, you disgust me
Urine is gross, Jerry

Oh – I hadn’t even noticed Doug in the stall
And now Doug’s glancing at the mirrors … don’t tell me that’s all

I’ll end the poem here –
I’ve made my point clear

People don’t wash their hands, and that’s a fact
So the next time you go to shake hands, consider a retract

Ladies, and fellas, if you catch someone not washing their hand
Wait til they’re in public, then reprimand, reprimand, reprimand.

De Jour of the Week (1/17/11)

Top 5 Things Overheard Said by Mark Zuckerberg as He Fights Off Zombiepocalypse

5) “Poke this.”

4) “I don’t blame you – if I could clone me, I’d eat myself too.”

3) “Relationship status: Dead.”

2) “I’m taking back my friend request.”

1) “…Brainssssss…” **

**Note, the post name should be “as He *Tries To* Fight Off Zombiepocalypse”

*My co-worker L and I thought up this idea, and I thought it was pretty clever … but I guess with the same actor being the star (sorta) in Zombieland AND the Facebook movie, this thought probably occurred to many people.

I was going to fix up a photo of Zuckerberg, but then I saw the above image and thought it was somewhat funny. Plus the site has some good ‘posters.’

De Jour of the Week (1/10/11)

Motto

Tomato, tomah-to
Here’s my motto
Drink til you’re happy
Not til you’re sappy