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Archive for the ‘My Zombie Roomy’ Category

My Zombie Roomy (8/16/11)

Remember when the Zombie was going through a weird weight-concerned phase? Well, it’s back. Only now it’s me who is concerned.

The Zombie has put on a lot of weight, and not like a human would. The Zombie has started carrying a backpack at all times, and it is insanely full. I don’t know what is in that thing but it must be from some fancy backpack shop like REI because how has it not broken?

I tried to look what is inside one time but he got angry and swatted me away. I told him I respect his privacy and wouldn’t look. He responded by offering a dance fight (our traditional Friday night thing if I’ve got no other plans). We danced for a while and I felt a lot better.

Until I noticed the jumbo-sized bottle of Gatorade with a hand in it.

However, I love a good joke, so I took out a bottle of regular Gatorade and said cheers, and the Zombie ate a hand while I drank Gatorade. Dance fights make me so thirsty.

It’s disconcerting how ok I am with the Zombie’s eating habits. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t let the Zombie eat in my house but now I allowed him to break that rule. We’ll see how this pans out.

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My Zombie Roomy (8/2/11)

I think the Zombie actually did manage to somehow combine with a werewolf. Is there some website he used for this? Or maybe a bulletin board at the local college?

“Unkempt, antisocial (except for during dinner), night owl seeks same. Hoping to hear from you.”

The reason I say this about a werewolf is because the Zombie has been attacking squirrels and birds lately. More dog than werewolf, but I figure it sounds cooler to talk about my Zombie-wolf roommate than my Zombie roommate who is dog-like.

It’s actually really annoying though. I hope this weird dog-thing wears off soon. Do you have any idea how annoying zombie pigeons are? I’ll tell you – they’re exactly as annoying as regular pigeons but they CAN’T DIE!

I may need to consider moving, it’s rough out here.

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My Zombie Roomy (7/7/11)

This could be bad.

I was watching Wolf, starring Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer, and suddenly the Zombie sat bolt upright.

If I had been Scooby Doo I would’ve said, “ruh roh.” I’m not Scooby Doo, so instead I said the human, four-letter equivalent of “ruh roh.”

That’s when the Zombie tried to howl like a wolf. It was like watching a cat bark. Not natural, but kind of funny. Only most barking cats don’t get up, walk out of your apartment, and disappear into the woods for a few days and come back with hair glued all over their clothes.

So I guess the Zombie is pretending to be a werewolf for a while? Let’s hope it’s a short phase, I keep having to vacuum and it is so annoying.

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