The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

My Zombie Roomy (1/21/13)

Remember Paul the Octopus? Or, to use the phrase I used to look up his name on Google, ‘octopus world cup.’ He ‘predicted’ the winners of a bunch of world cup games because he was presented with two boxes of food, each had a flag on it, and whichever box of food he went for first was the winner. And the octopus happened to be right  twelve out of fourteen times. Nuts, right?

Well, I think the Zombie was having a Paul the Octopus thing going on when I discovered, late Saturday night, the dismembered arm of a man who had been wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey AND a bloodied piece of a New England Patriots jersey.

Crazier things have happened – like, you know, having a zombie for a roommate – so I decided to go for it. I called a friend who likes friendly wager’s and asked if he’d be down for one for the afternoon game. I bet on the 49ers and the Ravens to win, twenty bucks for each game.

Unfortunately, I later discovered bits of jersey from a Seahawks fan, a Chiefs fan, a 49ers fan and a Ravens fan. Apparently the Zombie stumbled on a football watching party and went to town.

That’s an awful lot of people though, so I am afraid the Zombie either was killing for sport (NOT good) or he’s made a bunch of friends (even worse).

On the plus side I made 40 bucks!

Describing Bill Belichick

That sassy Bill Belichick

Sassy

Très chic

Mmm, mmm good!

First name Silly, last name Billy

Diva

Leader of men, and style

Favorite phrase: “Shut your dirty pirate mouth!”

(P.S. Let’s go Ravens!)

Bizarre Job Posting

This article inspired this post … I’ll summarize it: some Russians simulated a trip to Mars, locking up this crew for FIVE HUNDRED and TWENTY DAYS! Painful, right?

Here’s how I’d expect the job posting to go.

***

Attention, heroes of tomorrow! Say, what are you up to the next 520 days? Do you have free time? Do you like small spaces? Do you feel like the government is watching you, and frankly, the idea isn’t that troublesome?

Then we have a job for YOU!

***

Short, and to the point, unlike that job. Yowzers. 520 days. I don’t think the bat exists that can poop out the crazy that I would become.