The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Weekly Wacko (27)

Punch-Me-in-the-Face-Adorable

When I was in high school I often played with neighborhood kids (it was actually a neighbor mom’s mother who made me realize why – she was asking about my favorite neighborhood growing up and I said Alaska, because even though I was only K – 2nd grade when we lived there, even the ‘big kids’ (ie high school) played sports and stuff with my friends and I. She pointed out that I was now the big kid. Very perceptive and obvious, and it made me feel pretty good to carry on something I thought was so amazing).

One of the kids was a little girl in elementary school. She had apparently developed a crush on me – I would guess it’s because I was a senior in high school, a boy, played with the neighborhood kids, and tall (it was more fun that way when I picked up kids and spun them around or such).

One day she was running around the neighborhood and she decided to come around. She rang the doorbell and I answered. She had, watch out for the oozing amounts of adorable, brought over a juice box for herself and I.

We went outside and drank juice (substitute wine and add forty years and that’s the kind of scene). It was getting dark out so I told her I’d walk her home.

She wanted a piggy back ride so I obliged. Walking across the circular field in the middle of the neighborhood she admitted to me very plainly, “I wish I was a teenager so we could date.”

I mean, come on. I challenge you to out-cute that.

One day, her younger brother walked up to my house as I was sitting outside. It was my senior year of high school. The weather was perfect, and so I walked outside and laid down on the driveway, watching the clouds roll by. The young stud walked up, said “hi” (he was maybe four at the time?) and sat down beside me. He looked over, then laid down like me. Looked over again, so I had my arms behind my head – using them like a pillow, and mimicked that.

I felt like the coolest older brother ever. It’s no wonder I’m a huge fan of that family.

3/30/10
The zombie is craaaaazy for Natasha Bedingfield. How funny is that? Don’t get me wrong, I really like singing along with that “I love you I love you I love youuuu” song, but still, that was surprising to see the Zombie looking up Natasha Bedingfield on Google images.

(I’m a guy’s guy but … come on, that’s adorable.)

I’m trying to get back into jogging. After I finish a few things I’m heading out to jog! The weather is awesome out – so how can I not go jogging right now? But really, there’s a Papa Johns by me which means I eat Papa Johns regularly now because MAN that smells so good.

3/29/10

Get FIT!

OK self, you can do this
No … not strong enough, you CAN DO THIS!

Mentally psyched? Check.
Physically psyched? Not check.

Every time I think about starting to work out
I think about that vacation in 4 weeks and how that’ll cause a productivity drought
“I’ll be in the swing of things, then vacation will derail me!” I pout,
‘Working out will just have to be put off’ I think, ‘about it there is no doubt.’

I shake it off and think, no, no, you can do this
That’s right – you CAN DO THIS!

Oh wait, my sneakers are in such bad shape
I’ll get blisters and then my foot I’ll have to tape
You see, that’s yet another plausible escape

Forget that! bring on a wicked blister!
Well … No … Don’t bring on a wicked blister
But bring on the workout, no more excuses, mister!/ (not to be sexist)sister!

Yes, I’m shaking it off – I know I can do this
Yeah, I said it, I said I know I CAN DO THIS!

My workout clothes on, I’m starting to stretch
I feel gross already. Does jogging go with a lunch of tex-mex?

Ignore the voices inside my head
Also, ignore my body which is thinking of my bed
My comfortable, comfortable, non-judgmental bed …

No! Stop that! who can do this?
Um? … I? … Can do this?

Uh oh, I’m losing steam
Would taking a nap in work-out clothes be some gym-rat blaspheme?

Quiet, self, picture rock hard abs!
Then picture me being in decent enough shape to date someone with rock hard abs!

I guess … yeah … I guess you can do this?
Yeah! … yeah! … I can probably do this!

I’m out the door, no more thinking!
(Plus I’ve decided my reward for this ‘workout’ will be that buffet for all-you-can-eating-and-drinking)
Yes, dear self, work out some then you can make yourself into stuffing

400 calories burned!
2000 calories earned!!!

Yeah, I can do totally do this
Eyes on the prize and I CAN DO THIS!

Oh sweet Lord what is that glorious smell?
Every neighbor is out cooking – burgers, steak, pizza! – this is hell

You’re taunting me, world
My plan you want unfurled!

Quick, run away from those … do I smell a bakery? … NO! I CAN DO THIS!
I think I’m … yes … I’m actually doing this!