The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘blood’

My Zombie Roomy (6/10/11)

I noticed something, which led me to realize something I hadn’t noticed at all. Pretty deep, right?

Here’s what I noticed: the Zombie checking himself out in the mirror.

Here’s what I realized I hadn’t noticed: the Zombie has never once looked at himself in the mirror.

I think I’d never noticed the lack of mirror-visits because I didn’t expect the Zombie to care how he looked. Zombies have just never struck me as being too image-conscious. And yet, the amount of dried blood on him never seems to vary much. It’s like how I have a beard trimmer so I don’t have to do a clean shave – he maybe has some blood thing where he’s got the blood equivalent of stubble.

I don’t know where he his on a scale of 1 to 10 in the undead world, but that look on his face when he was looking at the mirror? I think I may need to try and cheer him up. Time to start casually adding a compliment after I yell at him not to drink straight out of the bottle of Febreeze.

“Zombie I told you – pour the Febreeze in your cup first! Also … you look nice today.”

Hm. Better keep working on it. How would you casually compliment a zombie?

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My Zombie Roomy

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De Jour of the Week (7/15/10)

An Ode to the Stain on My Shirt

Oh, mighty stain!
I do wonder from whence you came!
Rarely do I eat curry
And I hope I’m wrong, but you appear a bit furry
That bloody nose must’ve drip, drip, dropped
My pulled pork missed my mouth and instead plopped

Oh, mighty stain!
You cause wonder, and disdain
The heat causes me to sweat just so
And chocolate melts and drips, you know
I should’ve avoided sliding in the grass
My clumsy hands spilled that wine from its glass

Oh, mighty stain!
What magical wash-proof forces do you contain?
Biting a juice box can cause it to spill
Old pens are neat, but beware a drippy quill
Meatballs go on top of spaghetti, which apparently goes on top of me
If your hands have dirt, wipe them on your shirt to be germ-free

Oh, mighty stain!
You scoff at the likes of Tide, All and Gain
Whoops – I spilled coffee on this admiring refrain.

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Du Jour of the Week

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