Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
Congrats on the Oscars and on breaking Twitter.
Similarly, I recently had a tweet favorited so I guess we’re both trend setters.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
I am taking my car in to be looked at soon and as someone who knows little to nothing about cars I have a feeling I will look like an idiot. (In the words of Mitch Hedburg: “I know a lot about cars. I can can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.”)
Here are a few possible conversational snippits:
Mechanic: And when’s the last time you got your tires rotated?
Me: Well … On the drive in here? I mean, every time I drive they get rotated, right?
Me: I am not sure why I’m here really … I mean, my car is an automatic, shouldn’t it be taking care of all this stuff by itself?
Mechanic: We’ve got a number of things we’d like to do: first we’re going to –
Me: Let me guess, give my car some pasta?
Mechanic: …What?
Me: I mean, why else would it need a carb-orator unless it eats a lot of carbs?! Huh? Amiright?
Mechanic: …
Me: Because it’s like a refrigerator but just for carbs.
Mechanic: Yeah …
Me: So … that’s funny …
Mechanic: … Right. We’ve got a number of things we’d like to do: first we’re going (etc, etc, stuff I don’t understand)
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
Here we see the panda: nature’s equivalent of a spoiled younger sibling who just does whatever he wants. This panda is resting after having eaten for one hour straight. He is getting his strength up for the two day mating season where he may have sex once or twice. Unless he doesn’t. Either way.
Carry on, panda.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
DumbFunnery 