The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

The Origins of Carrot Top

Lets say, for the sake of this post, that there is a God. Some beyond comprehension THING that has created everything that we know.

That would be time consuming. At least for us, because our minds don’t comprehend this THING.

In order to create all of us, that THING would end up doing a lot of duplicate work.

“Ok another human, basic ingredients: 2 ears, one heart, etc, etc.”

This ultimate THING probably has a huge Rolodex of recipes for creating stuff. But I bet the MAGNIFICENCE has it memorized because, if anyone could memorize all that, it’d be God.

Anyhow due to all the duplicate work the divine being would maybe create a GUI or graphical user interface.

In the Earth project God would click on the project and say Add->New and then Human. Then Human would have another drop down and, because they seem to always have this, there would be your standard options and then an ‘Other’ option.

Carrot Top is from the Other option.

Attn: Ellen (9/18/13)

Front

Ellen137a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen137b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet Samuel L. Jackson makes this exact face when he’s trying to pick up a 7 – 10 split.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Products and Their Sponsors, part 1

Baby Penguin: Mom?
Mother Penguin: Yes, darling.
Baby Penguin: You have such an original scent.
Mother Penguin: And you, my dear, are a dishwashing liquid.

Think that doesn’t make sense? I completely agree.

Dawn Soap

Advertising Executive 1: Let’s put penguins on the soap!
Advertising Executive 2: That doesn’t make any sense to me.
Advertising Executive 1: I’m your boss and I am in a weird place in my life where I want birds on things.
Advertising Executive 2: I love this plan!