The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Ant Farm Crop Yield

The carrots look miserable.

The celery isn’t even worth the dirt on my shoes.

The pecan tree is noticeably absent.

But I DO have a lot of dead ants, piled into a little triangle of depression. The one ant still living must be clinically insane.

 

***

I had an ant farm when I was a kid, and they really did bury their dead. It was weird, and amazing.

The only other thing that amazed me just as much? Trying to figure out what was going through the mind of the last ant left. What a nightmarish land. Trapped in some 2D living space, surrounded by your dead buddies, and some giant creature just stares at you and throws you bits of a Cheerio occasionally.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (9/25/13)

Front

Ellen138a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen138b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Don’t you think it’s amazing how misunderstood some artists can be? For example, this is one “art critic’s”* review of this wonderful painting: Eye floaters are small moving spots that appear in your field of vision. They may be especially noticeable when you look at something bright, such as white paper (or an empty canvas).

Critics, huh? What goons.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

*Maybe this was not something from a critique but instead from WebMD.

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Did Monet Have Bad Vision?

Here we see what appear to be strawberries that Monet, known for his clumsiness, probably dropped on some grass on a rainy day. Tough luck dude, looks like you better head back to the grocery store.

 

This embarrassing flop is supposed to be a painting of a rose. Man, that guy really needed glasses, am I right?

 

 

One day, it is reported, Monet woke up and decided to paint what he saw outside his window. What he didn’t realize was that someone had been washing his window and left smudges all over it. Hey, this kinda looks like waves though. That’s cool. What good luck.

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Pictures

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