The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘earth’

The Origins of Carrot Top

Lets say, for the sake of this post, that there is a God. Some beyond comprehension THING that has created everything that we know.

That would be time consuming. At least for us, because our minds don’t comprehend this THING.

In order to create all of us, that THING would end up doing a lot of duplicate work.

“Ok another human, basic ingredients: 2 ears, one heart, etc, etc.”

This ultimate THING probably has a huge Rolodex of recipes for creating stuff. But I bet the MAGNIFICENCE has it memorized because, if anyone could memorize all that, it’d be God.

Anyhow due to all the duplicate work the divine being would maybe create a GUI or graphical user interface.

In the Earth project God would click on the project and say Add->New and then Human. Then Human would have another drop down and, because they seem to always have this, there would be your standard options and then an ‘Other’ option.

Carrot Top is from the Other option.

Attn: Ellen (1/4/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Let’s take a moment to thank the Earth for tolerating us another year … by throwing a party with LOTS OF CONFETTI!!! Yayy!

Insincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Sex in Space? Try These Out of this World Pick-Up Lines!

Sex in space – has it happened? According to this article, “Former and current astronauts don’t like to talk about space-shuttle sex, and NASA says that if it’s ever happened, the agency doesn’t know anything about it.”

I’m not here to comment on if there has been sex-space or not, but I will give some guesses on what lines were used to kick off the sexxins. Yes, I’d like to present …

 

Out of this World Pick-Up Lines

(Yes, the title is that bad.)

 

 

 

 

Gimbal, according to this, is defined as: “A device with two mutually perpendicular and intersecting axes of rotation, thus giving free angular movement in two directions, on which an engine or other object may be mounted.”

If that’s not a pick-up line for the ages I don’t know what is.

***

Special thanks to my parents for getting me the LEGO Space Shuttle as a Christmas gift (after we tried and failed to see a launch.)