The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (11/23/16)

Front

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen287b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see a depiction of an American woman escaping contentious and fruitless political conversation over Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, and remember to keep your escape canoe handy.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (11/16/16)

Front

ellen286a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen286b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Peaceful looking cabin, right?

But what if I told you a mean old man lived there.

He’s actually got a heart of gold outside that rough exterior?

But he only ever has vanilla ice cream – no sprinkles, or chocolate chips, or ANYTHING.

The ice cream is homemade and the best vanilla ice cream in the world?

But … it’s vanilla. Like, come on, man.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

(Card from: underatreeprints.com)

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (11/9/16)

Front

ellen285a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen285b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

‘Something for everyone 758 pages’ … The estimated world population is 7.4 billion. If I had written that I would’ve had 757 pages of very specific, weird things almost no one likes and then one page of basic human necessities.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?