The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (1/2/19)

Front

 

Ellen380a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen380b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet the first person who thought of removing the hair before they ate the animal they killed was revered with a god like status.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (12/19/18)

Front

Ellen379b

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen379a

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This year I’ve secretly been telling people ‘Mary Christmas’ because this girl I know, named Mary, likes bringing home-baked cookies to work so I hope that … aw crap, just remembered her name is actually Joan.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (12/12/18)

Front

Ellen378b

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen378a

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Recently I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. I took off my glasses and wow – stunning! What a beautiful fuzzy creature stood before me! Such a sharp (maybe?) jawline! Such dazzling eyes are probably right around that area? I didn’t know what I was looking at, but I liked (possibly?) it.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?