The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

An Ode to Bad Jokes

Yes, there it is … my old inviting friend
This conversational lull may be the end
Because, after my joke (which may offend)
The conversation may well be deadened

The attention is mine!
The story, the delivery, is fine …
And then! And then … the um, oh shoot, uh … what’s the punchline?
I’ll stutter gibberish while I hope to divine …

Um, well, it’s funny … I’m pretty sure
I can’t remember that one but I have more!
Do I know a word stronger than ‘abhor’?
Well, that’s just uncalled for

But, it’s genetic you see
Get me around my family and it’s painfully,
Oh, so, SO painfully,
Clear to (escaping) you and me

There’s no other sound
To which I am bound
Like the lovely sound
My jokes bring around

“……..Ugh.”
Meanwhile, my grinning mug,
(You’d think I’d feel like a lug
But bad humor and I are quite snug)
So, we shrug,
And at this joke continue to plug

Yes, my humor may bring a groan
But your little grin while you bemoan
Is to all so clearly shown
So these bad jokes, you condone

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (1/4/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Let’s take a moment to thank the Earth for tolerating us another year … by throwing a party with LOTS OF CONFETTI!!! Yayy!

Insincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn: Ellen

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Three Boys at a Doorstep

Lebron James looked around, fidgeting. Kobe Bryant rolled his eyes and said, “fine, I’ll do it – but you need to learn to man up and just gun it.” That’s when Kobe reached out and rang the doorbell. (Though, to be honest, he was fidgeting too.) Meanwhile Dirk Nowitzki looked sort of like a billy goat.

The boys heard someone coming to the door and they all stared apprehensively at the handle.

The door opened.

A kind woman was standing there, smiling at the sheepish boys. “Why hello! I hadn’t seen you for a while!”

“Hi,” the boys said in unison, “is Talent home?” A keen observer would notice that the three boys had their fingers crossed.

“Ohh,” the woman said sadly, “I’m sorry boys, Talent took a trip with Off-Season-Effort.”

Dirk loosened an imaginary tie, Kobe overtly gulped and Lebron chewed his nails like a beaver attacks a tree.

“But,” the woman continued, “Talent will be back around the start of February.”

The three boys looked at each other, shrugged, said “OK!” and walked away happily.

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Short Short Stories

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