The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Attn: Ellen (6/5/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres bear

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Recently I wrote a knock-knock joke … So far everyone I have told the joke to says it stinks. I figure it’s past due:

Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Bananas foster.
Bananas foster who?
Bananas foster their hopes and dreams …

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Corporate Humor

My friend Juicebox suggested I write a post about classic corporate jokes. Oh how I loathe these. He sits right by me at work and hears when I do my fake laugh over some standard line. But I take part in these. I do the fake laugh, and I say the standard response. It’s like when you get a corporate job you’re going to a Catholic Church service. When the co-worker says “The word of the Lord” you say “Thanks be to God.”

Today’s joke that inspired this conversation was a co-worker coming in and saying, “did you miss me?” To which I replied “who are you again?” Oh so funny. Stop me if I’m too cutting edge here.

The Haircut Joke (read about my favorite response to being asked about a haircut HERE)

“Did you get a hair cut?”
“More than just one!”

The Lunchtime Joke

(Seeing co-workers walking in with food.)
“Oh lunchtime, huh? What’d you bring me?”

The Monday Joke

“How’s it going?”
“Well at least it’s not Monday!”
“Oh ho ho .. HA! Ha ha ha!”

The Any Day but Friday Joke

“Is it Friday yet?”
“Haha! Oh boy, I wish!”
“Hey (random coworker’s name who is nearby), you invent that time machine yet?”
“I’m still working on the printer that never jams that you asked for last week!”
(And then everyone instantaneously explodes out of the sheer stupidity of it all.)

That One

“Working hard? Or hardly working?”

Attn: Ellen (5/29/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Monet

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Imagine yourself stepping into a room. In this room you are surrounded by beautiful Claude Monet paintings. So peaceful, so happy.

Then I walk in and gesture to 5 of the Monet’s in turn, and sing, to the tune of the O’Jays ‘For the Love of Money,’ “Monet, Monet, Monet, Moooonet, … Monet!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?