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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
I bet if Darth Vader hadn’t been evil he would’ve been super evil. Using his Force powers to tickle people (instead of choking them to death). That slow, labored breathing as he stands 10 feet away … tickling you. Could it get more evil?!
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery
When you were a kid, and you were out playing, maybe like by yourself, did a dog ever come up to you and bark once? A single bark? And you thought, ‘oh wow, a talking dog! You’re almost there buddy, finish saying my last name!’
Do you ever watch old movies of yourself doing cool karate stuff and you can’t help but say out loud, maybe quietly to yourself, “Jean-Claude Van Daaaaaaaamme”?
Would you like to be co-founder of a towing company called “Just Sajak”? Also, do you age like a normal human? Or did you and the crew that films Wheel of Fortune film every episode 30 years ago and just predict future fashion trends incredibly well and have the guests dress up in “futuristic outfits” like non-poofy hairdos?
Hey, those are nice pants, are they … cheater pants!? Gotcha!
If scientists found a way to shrink people down to like toy size, like Indian in the Cupboard kinda toy size, and clone people, do you think you’d be cool with me making a tiny clone of you that just hangs out on my desk at work and makes little British faces whenever my coworkers are talking nonsense to me? It’d really brighten my day. Think it over.
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
I think I would like to be cremated when I die, BUT I would also like a tombstone with an epitaph that says “violently huggable.”
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
DumbFunnery 