The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

Cloning, and Al Roker

You know what would be the first thing I would do if I had a machine that allowed me to clone people? I would clone Al Roker, and I would try to manipulate the clone a little bit (think Brave New World, or genetic cookbook that allows recipe alteration). Here’s what I would end up with: a gang of Al Rokers!

But why, why you ask! I’ll tell you why. Allow me to introduce you to …

  • Al Smoker

Al Smoker is just like Al Roker, but he is cool. Or maybe has bad acne. Or can’t run so much due to the smoking. You know who makes Al Smoker look good though?

  • Al Toker

He has no idea what’s going on, but he’s pretty happy about it. How does Al Toker support his bad habits given he works eight hours a week at a McDonald’s?

  • Al Broker

What’s that? You think I forgot about today’s blog post til this morning when I was watching the Today show and this was the best I could come up with? Well … I wish Al JOKER was here, because he’d know exactly what to say in response.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (5/1/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Star Wars


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This Saturday is free comic book day. This is great for single people because it answers the age old question, “where can I meet a guy who is not only nerdy, but also cheap?”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Realization – Womenfolk and Menfolk

I decided on something tonight. It’s based on a stereotype, which may also be true. The stereotype (or scientific fact, if you go for this article) is that women talk more than men.

Although, based on my blogging, and enjoyment of telling stories, I give the stereotypical woman a run for her money.

Anyhow – here’s my comparison.

When these stereotypical women tell stories, it’s like the first chapter of a book. They introduce characters, and give the setting and background information. You don’t just hear about Susie, you hear about Susie, who grew up in South Carolina and likes to wear scarves.

When stereotypical men tell stories, the characters have already been established. It’s Patrick, and he was out getting drunk one night when … It’s not Patrick, from Oregon, who grew up and things were tough because his parents got divorced and seemed to use him as a pawn in some sick battle.

There you go. My little joke to go with the stereotype.

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Du Jour of the Week

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