The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

He’s a Pedophile, But …

If you’re in Alabama and heading to the polls this Tuesday, you’ve got a big decision. The pedophile, or the Democrat. This is, apparently, not an easy decision. Perhaps you are a Roy Moore fan and have just a smidgen of guilt. Don’t worry, we here at DumbFunnery have you covered. If we left off any of your ‘but …’ rationale, email us at DumbFunnery@gmail.com, comment on this post, or tweet us @DumbFunnery.

He’s a pedophile, but …

  • Boy does he have nice hats!
  • At least he’s not into children! By the way, what does pedophile mean?
  • Therapists need money too – and he’s helping create a huge base of people who need therapy. This is trickle down economics at its finest!
  • We all have our faults! For example, I can be gassy.
  • He clearly cares deeply about the children.

Go out, delude yourself into thinking all of the allegations are false, and vote with a clear conscious. Or, don’t be a crazy person, and vote for the non-pedophile.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Christmas Shopping Help

Christmas is fast approaching and you’ve got some of your shopping done but you’re still missing gifts for a few people. And wouldn’t you know it, they’re the people who are the most difficult to buy for.

Don’t worry. We here at DumbFunnery have scoured the internet, obtained access to your emails, stalked your social media posts and know an alarming amount about you and your family. Not as much as Google knows about you, or Facebook, but still an unsettling amount.

Your Dad
Membership to the ‘Show Us You’re Nuts’ club which sends various nuts and inappropriate jokes every month

Your Mom
A punching bag, trust us, she needs this

Your Neighbor Who Did You That Big Favor and You’re Like, Do We Get Them Something?
A framed photo of you in a crop top

Your Brother-in-Law
A couple thousand dollars would save him from a broken leg, otherwise some good magazines to read in the hospital

Your Great Uncle Smimby
Monogrammed hand towels, and the nice thing is he’s not terribly concerned about if they are his initials or not

There you go, friends. Merry Christmas from us here at DumbFunnery.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (12/6/17)

Front

Ellen328a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen328b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see a cartoon depiction of our current political landscape.
Honestly, what’s the best course of action when the more you pay attention the more disheartened and disappointed you feel?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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