The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘My Zombie Roomy’

My Zombie Roomy (9/9/10)

I’m probably over-reacting and this actually isn’t a big deal at all but the Zombie’s been missing for a few days. Four to be exact. He’s disappeared other times for two days at a time, and the first time I got really nervous and worried and actually debated posting about it but then I thought, ‘nah that’s silly, don’t get in a fuss.’

But man, where are you Zombie?

I guess part of my writing this is also the old bus stop mentality. You know, as soon as you start walking away from the bus stop because you decide it’s never going to show up – that’s when it shows up. So I’m admitting that yes, I miss the Zombie, and all this in an effort to bring him back.

How embarrassing for my normally macho self (wait …).

Anyhow. If you see a zombie out walking around with a winning personality, and a sort of sheepish look on his face, and this shuffling gait … Oh!, and that goes by the name Zombie … Let me know. Please.

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (8/16/10)

Friday is my birthday, but I’ll be heading home to see my family on Thursday night – so the Zombie decided to throw me a birthday celebration today.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a zombie birthday party – but I wouldn’t recommend it. Well, that’s unfair – maybe it’s just my roommate that is really weird. But, apparently, the Zombie thinks the crème de la crème of parties is a 6th grade school dance.

My apartment had six balloons, bad music, and a math teacher (who looked like he was frightened for his life) standing in the corner of my kitchen. As soon as I walked in my apartment I knew it was a 6th grade dance – because I was suddenly very sure I’d never kiss a girl, and I remembered that Miss Whitehead is a big dumb lame-head.

It was incredibly weird. The only good part was when I approached the Zombie to thank him for the party, the math teacher said (out of habit I guess), “balloon-width apart, please.”

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My Zombie Roomy (8/5/10)

Ok things got crazy last night and the Zombie confronted me and he seemed so crazed and … man I was scared. So I did what I do best. I rambled endlessly and eventually we hit a common ground.

The Zombie and I are going to launch some new, extremely niche market emoticons!!

Here are our ideas so far:

hamster with a gas problem
turtle who can’t believe he was just diagnosed with gonorrhea
old man who CAN believe it’s not butter
apron with an attitude
poofy jacket worn by Alicia Keys, but with Barbra Streisand’s face
toothbrush with an attitude
paint shaker with an attitude
(we really loved the ‘with an attitude’ thing)
meatball sandwich that just got a love letter
a tiger shark who is totally baiting the hook to try and get a compliment

 

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