The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘party’

Do You Need New Dishes?

Coming up soon is the Superbowl, a football game played between the winner of the AFC playoff bracket and the NFC playoff bracket. It’s a big deal to some.

Here’s where that comes in handy for you, my dish-needing friend.

Invite a bunch of people over for the Superbowl, but maybe limit the guest list to friends you have who you think have good taste. Tell everyone you’ll provide the drinks and some entree type items, but everyone needs to bring a bowl with a dip and whatever food goes in the dip. Easy, fun, delightful. Win, win, win.

Everyone comes over, the game’s on, then it’s halftime and everyone has to pay attention to that, and then … the game comes back on. Everyone is engaged but it’s a bit of a lull as far as focus is concerned. Everyone has done their catching up, the game has been on a bit, no one is THAT focused on anything and here’s when you strike.

“Hey guys, if we had a super … BOWL party here … like, picking the best bowl, not the food in it but like the dish itself … who would win?”

Now, most people in the room are going to look at you like you’re an idiot or just plain old annoying. But two, three, or maybe even four people are going to say, ‘hmm’ and really look at those bowls.

You should go shop for your new dishes with one of those people.

ceramic bowl with cereals

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

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Tips for Planning a Surprise Party

Acknowledge to the person the surprise is for that you are doing something for them … So that they don’t go off and plan their own thing in a fit of, “but what about meeee?!”

Don’t tell your friend who can’t keep a secret til the day before. If that friend is someone who is busy, invite him or her to some fictional activity that is the same time as the actual event.

First and foremost – remember that the party is for … well, whoever it’s for. It’s not for you. Plan for their tastes, not yours!

Don’t email the spouse of the person the party is for, in case the recipient of the surprise party happens to have access to the emails of the spouse (sure, this seems specific – but it happens)

Anywho, see you in a few days for your non surprise party, Mom.

Failed Childhood Dreams Party

My birthday is coming up in about a month and I am toying with the idea of trying to get a bunch of friends to go out on the town with me. Most years (if not all except during college?) I have flown back home for my birthday and had a low key night with the fam.

This year I’m not flying home – so why not live it up?

That’s right, I could finally have that party theme I’ve had on the back burner for years …

My sis, E$ and I thought this up when I lived with her, you come to the party:

As your childhood dream job/life that you never realized.

  • Maybe you wanted to be a rocket scientist?
  • Maybe an NBA superstar?
  • Maybe your dream was just to be really rich (that was essentially mine)?
  • Maybe a dinosaur?
  • Maybe an author?

Come one, come all to the party where your failed childhood dreams hang out and dance awkwardly.

What would YOU be at this party?

James Noguchi, My Unfortunate (imaginary) Friend

What would happen if I had a friend named James Noguchi, and he and I went to a party.

James: Hey, check her out.
Me: Who?
James: The chick, dude. Check her out.
Me: She looks sociable. Gross.
James: You’re a loser. Come on, I’m going to talk with her.
Me: What? Why do I have to come? I can stand here and pretend to text while you go do that.
James: Dork. Come on. You and I will talk about something stupid and then ask her about her opinion.
Me: That’s your move?
James: What’s your move?
Me: Using the internet.
James (judging eyes)

(Walking toward the girl.)

James: (loudly) I just don’t think, if I could pick any non-traditional super-hero power … that I would pick the ability to tell exactly how much sodium my meal contains.
Me: And I think it’s very important to know how much sodium my meal has.
James: You can’t look at the label?
Me: Food has labels?
James: (to the girl) What do you think?
Girl: He’s got a point, labels are boring.
Me: See? Another illiterate person at this party, finally.
Girl (pity laugh)
James: (glaring at me) Don’t mind Brad, he doesn’t get out much.
Girl (laughs)
James: I’m James Noguchi.
Me: Wait, what about some guchi?
James: Not now, Brad.
Me: Please? Just a tiny bit of guchi?
Girl: I don’t get it.
James: My last name is Noguchi … Brad pretends it’s No. Guchi.
Me: ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE GUCHI!
Girl: …
James: I hate you Brad.
Me: Fine. No guchi. You win. You’re a hell of a negotiator, Noguchi.
Girl: I think my friend’s waving at me to meet some other people. Nice to meet you guys!
James: I seriously hate you Brad.
Me: Looks like I’m getting all the Noguchi I want tonight. Want to head to my place and play video games?

 

(There’s a guy at work with the last name Noguchi. I walked by, saw his last name, and immediately thought, “how about a little guchi? Please? Just some guchi?”)

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