The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (9/3/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m struggling today because I want us to work on a rap collaboration project but I can’t just say that … But then my only idea is to combine the words to form the portmanteau co-rap-oration … But that sounds like corporation which sounds like a portmanteau for a crappy corporation.

I don’t know – maybe get back to me and we pre-collaborate.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (8/27/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m pretty sure this postcard is supposed to be for people who like western ladies but … what? Does the framed photo on the cactus mean this is her home? In that case is she poor or a squatter? If she’s poor is the horse stolen or does she have terrible money management?

Please chime in Ellen and/or Arizona.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (8/20/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Waking up today for the first time as a 30-year old! I thought “AHHHHH!,” then, “there’s no real difference” then I took a bite of cereal as a 30-year old! and thought “AHHHHH!,” then, “don’t be silly really I’m one day older,” then when I grabbed my keys to go to work I resolved myself because I knew I’d be hearing cheesy jokes about being an old man all day.

And by resolved myself I mean I debated calling in sick.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?