The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Weekly Wacko’

Weekly Wacko (62)

Say, How’s Your God Doing?

A little while back I wrote about an experience I had as an intern where I learned I was less valued than a paperweight.

This is a happier internship story from the same place.

The same summer I started interning there, two guys were hired. One, Sukru from the previously mentioned story. Two, Prasad. Sukru was from Turkey and had just gotten either a PhD or Masters, Prasad from India (“south central India” – he said this to me and I almost laughed in his face, I wanted to shout, “south central in the HOUSE!” because I’m white). Prasad also had a big fancy-pants degree.

Prasad came to work for a little while, and he got himself somewhat acquainted with everything, but he had a trip planned to go back home to India. After a brief while of having him around he was off. A few weeks (felt like millennia) later he returned.

Huzzah!

He brought back with him sweets from India. He went cube-to-cube saying, “sweets from India?” and holding a box of foodstuffs at people. It was adorable and scary. I grabbed something, said thanks, and then forced myself to eat it because he was going to stand there until I tried it.

“Mmmm,” I said at 8:00 am to this incredibly sweet bread-like thing, “yum.”

The BEST part of his return was a conversation I overheard. Except for the odd influx of Prasad and Sukru, the company was very whitebread. And oldish.

Oldish whitebread guy: Hey Prasad! Welcome back!
Prasad: Oh, thank you.
Oldish whitebread guy: You got a haircut!
Prasad: I cut off my hair as a sacrifice to my god.
Oldish whitebread guy: ……….Oh.

FANTASTIC!

Watch for a future video where I do my impression of Prasad, who was impressively nervous over the smallest things.

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Weekly Wacko (61)

Sink Technology Innovations

My dorm room my freshman year of college had a sink and mirror in it. This was nice because my roommate and I could brush our teeth and shave in the room if we wanted (any time spent not wearing shower shoes is time well spent).

One day I decided I looked scruffy enough and decided to shave.

I got out my shaving stuff, put on some shaving cream, turned on the hot water and started. After one stroke with the blade I ‘cleaned’ it. I did this again. And again.

Without realizing it, I was tapping the blade on the stopper in the sink.

I realized that soon enough when water starting filling up.

Uh oh.

I had completely closed the stopper (one of those metal ones that push up or down, simple enough).

I tried to get my fingers between the stopper and the metal around it to pry it up. No dice. I got out a penny – not thin enough. Eventually I dug out my Swiss Army knife (I really have no idea why I thought I would need this, but it turns out I did use it. Once. Definitely worth it.). I was able to get the blade in to pry open the stopper.

That’s when I noticed, between the cold and hot water taps was the metal part that you simply push or pull to open or close the stopper.

It’s not that I had never used a sink like this before, it’s just that I’m a moron.

And if you need further proof – I did the SAME EXACT THING about a month later.

(The second time I did that I told my English class about it and my professor told me that’s not the sort of thing I should tell people. I told her, in my head, ‘yeah? well you’re ugly.’)

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Weekly Wacko (60)

Talk to Myself, Sing to Myself, Go Crazy All By Myself

I wrote before about my brilliant camping strategy – who needs a tent when you have a mini-van and a short body?

One morning, I’m not sure if my sister had also slept in the mini-van or not, but we were both in there. I took the middle section (fit for two people sitting – prior to the popularity of the ‘quad bucket seats’), and she took the far back (fit for three people sitting).

We woke up and saw that our dad was the only tent-sleeping person awake. He was getting the camping stove ready for a breakfast.

Since my dad was in the Army, M.R.E.’s were a staple food on our camping trips. An MRE is a “Military Readiness Meal” and it is a powerful punch of calories. High on calories, low on satisfied customers. Though I’m pretty sure I thought they were awesome (I even got some one time, thinking my then-girlfriend and I would have a picnic lunch of MRE’s … What can I say, I’m a romantic). For breakfast that day he was fixing up something different. It was a special day not for that reason though.

E$, my sister, and I noticed – who’s dad talking to? He’s definitely talking. Oh yeah, his mouth is moving and he’s jabbering like crazy.

But no one was there.

My dad, if the wheels are really turning, can’t help but mouth the words. He doesn’t say them out loud (not yet?, eh Mom?), but you can tell when he’s really thinking. I’m allowed to make fun of him for many reasons – but one of them is that I’m already starting to do this.

E$ and I had a blast sitting in the car, watching our dad talk his head off. To himself.

A special day, for a special man. ZING!

(Again, it’s only a matter of time before this is me.)

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