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Attn: Ellen (3/26/14)

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Ellen163a

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 Ellen163b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I have a unique problem. I have been to 3 events with my girlfriend’s family where a lot of the same folks have showed up. At 2 of the 3 I have worn bright pink pants.

(The first time was an ugly sweater Christmas party so it was to be funny. The second was a party at a horse track where we dressed like a formal derby party so it actually made sense.) (I swear I rarely wear those pants except for that.)

The problem is: I think her family thinks I’m an enthusiastic Peptop Bismol salesman (they really are bright pink pants.) Do you have any advice for me?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com or @DumbFunnery

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Attn: Ellen (3/19/14)

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Ellen162a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen162b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Sometimes when I am doing something “cool” or at a “cool” event (like SxSW) I think of my future potential children and how maybe one day they’ll stumble on some pictures of their old man and think, “woah! Dad used to look so young … And like, do stuff!”

Unfortunately for this scenario it means I need to stop making goofy faces in pictures and that’s not likely.

Sorry potential kids, your old man is a dork. (If you’re reading this, just know that every time you tease me I will make a math joke in front of your friends.)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn:Ellen (3/12/14)

Front

Ellen100

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen101

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This week I’m going to Austin for SxSW (South by Southwest). I’ll get to see the latest in hip fashion.

I will be staring, wide-eyed and weirded out, like Luke Skywalker at the Mos Eisley spaceport.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. I can’t decide if I’d be excited or annoyed if hipsters decided to love Star Wars. On the one hand, sweet!, more people will get this postcard. On the other, I’d have to say that I liked Star Wars before it was cool.

Why am I doing this?

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