Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
Would you mind reminding me? You see, I’m watching tennis and can’t remember: is tennis the poor man’s badminton?, or the rich man’s man’s ping pong?, or the extravagantly wealthy man’s competitive hot dog eating contest?
Please let me know as soon as you get a minute!
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery
A child is given a bicycle and as a consequence is filled with joy. Later that day the bicycle is stolen.
A teenager is waiting anxiously to get back a test to see the grade. A test is delivered to their desk with a grade of 97, inwardly this young adult is beaming, with such pride and relief that the individual fails to recognize that the name on the top of the test is not theirs. When the mistake is corrected a grade of 72 is what is greeting this poor soul.
A young adult is told of a new position at work that will involve more responsibility, more exposure and more pay. The ambitious young worker looks forward to the position with concern but an attitude full of eagerness and desire to prove oneself. The position is instead given to a relative of the manager.
Nearing the twilight of a long and fruitful career, a well-handled mid-life crisis leads one individual to finally buy an affordable dream home. The seller finds a renewed love of their home when seeing the way the potential buyer sees the home, and reneges on the deal.
You are sitting in traffic and the first car at the light is still just sitting there, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL GUY, at a green light, ARE YOU SERIOUS GO!?, maybe this person is used to the old adage, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.”
Green Light, Red Light.
But seriously dude, let’s go, I know drivings not a race but you are driving me batty here. Oh great it’s already yellow.
Dear Deftones,
How are you today? I hope you are well. I wanted to write to express a few concerns I have and I even have a suggestion! Of course you are free to ignore it but maybe I will be like that little girl who supposedly wrote Lincoln about his mustache and I can help lead you to even greater things.
Note: I am not a little girl, nor do I sometimes think I am.
On Saturday, May 31st, I saw you perform live in Houston at the Free Press Summer Fest (FPSF). One good note: the crowd seemed to love you. Another good note: You did not accidentally say “hello Boston!” or “how’s everyone feeling, Alberta?”
I was at the concert because my fiance is a fan, so I have the benefit of an outsiders perspective here.
At one point my fiance turned to me and said, “oh this was my favorite song when I was in high school!” and I said, “this is a different song than the last one?” Sure, YOU might not find this funny, and neither did anyone else around me … But let me explain the joke! I said this because you seem to scream a lot. Do you lack confidence in your singing voice? Try some lessons. Maybe you’re already a good singer and are screaming as a rebellion against your parents? Try therapy. Whatever it is, we can get you singing lyrics in no time!
My concern is this: are you not aware of different state’s laws concerning marijuana? I ask because at one point you said, “smoke more weed, mother f***ers” (by the way, language, mister!). If you had been playing in Colorado, this would be ok, it’s no different than saying “eat more apples, mother f***ers” (maybe a little strong of a healthy suggestion, but apples ARE delicious). What I’m getting at is that in Texas recreational marijuana use is still not legal, so just keep that in mind!
But hey, if you are comfortable with who you are, by all means, keep at it!
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
DumbFunnery 