The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Listen Up, Nestea!

Don’t wanna get nasty
Just wanna get Nestea

That’s your new campaign slogan. What do you think? Ok, fine, you’re not immediately sold. Allow me to explain my brilliance!

What do you do with it? Oh I don’t know, sell records amount of tea!! (And sex.)

You have male and female based ad campaigns. See in the male version a young, attractive man implies offering sexual favors for Nestea. See!? Brilliant! Now you understand your new slogan.

In the female version, get ready, you do the exact same thing as in the male version.

It’s already entered our pop culture vernacular … mostly. Sexting, with a minor twist, is the same as sexteang.

You could have that one song, Blurred Lines, as the song in your commercial. Robin Thicke can be your spokesperson.

How am I not already an advertising billionaire!?

First of all, did you know you can use Google to very easily define words? You can try “define <word>” and wha-la, without a mouse click you’ve got a definition of the word right there!

Anywho, the other day I looked up the word parity (I am a nerd) and it has two pretty unique definitions.

  1. The state or condition of being equal, esp. regarding status or pay.
  2. The fact or condition of having borne children.

What! How can one word mean these two things! Maybe I’m weird, but I find that kind of funny and interesting.

Attn: Ellen (7/10/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Comics

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Recently I have gotten back into comic books. This is a pretty nerdy development, but wait … there’s more.

My friend and I don’t say we’re going to buy comics on some Wednesdays after work, we say we’re going to the LCS … Which is an acronym for Local Comic Shop.

Now to dig out my Robotech DVDs!!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?