The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘awkward silence’

De Jour of the Week (9/14/10)

I wrote this in my graphical user interface class in college. What a good student I am. Anyhow, now that I’m back at school hopefully I won’t be slacking off and writing nonsense like this …

Oh, and this is written from the perspective of my stomach. This was from a joke gone wrong. I said my stomach’s name is Seymour, then yelled, “FEEEEED ME SEYMOUR!” Then realized my mistake. Oh well, Seymour it is.

Also dig the reference to Keystone Light. YES!

Seymour (My Stomach’s Name)

“No one pays attention to me!”
I say loudly with a scowl,
Trust me on the volume of my growl.
It’s not my choice, I didn’t want this to be!

I’d much rather be a calf, an elbow or toes.
I didn’t make this decision, it’s just how it goes.

I’m embarrassed, don’t look, I’m going to flee!
Just get me a sandwich, a cracker, a crumb!
You know that I know you’re not really that dumb.
“I’ll show you!”, I say, forcefully.

Don’t pat me, you fool, I can never be soothed!
I’m telling you! Begging you! Give me some food!

At last! My wish is heard! I know nothing but glee!
We’re here at the fridge, what’s in it, I wonder?
Dos Equis? Michelob? Keysone? What blunder!
Ah ha, at the top! What’s that I see?

Moon pies, cereal and jalapeno bread?
I’m in Heaven, it’s true. I can be fed!

“Someone has finally paid attention to me!”
That’s what that growl meant, a kind thank you,
Now we can sit, relax, and maybe nap too.
“Oh, wait, uh oh” I realize terribly,

I wasn’t even hungry, I feel so childish…
Say! What’s in that covered dish?

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Du Jour of the Week

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Weekly Wacko (48)

Dear Diary/Blog,

Today is my first Masters class (or is it masters?, or Masters’?) … thankfully it’s an engineering one so that question doesn’t matter that much.

Anyhow – I have mixed feelings about this.

It’s nice for the obvious reasons – if I get a masters it’ll help my ‘career’, my company is assisting in paying for it (BOO YAH!).

It’s bad for the following reason – I don’t like thinking of myself as having a ‘career.’

I remember when my brother told my folks they’d be grandparents my mom was not in favor of the idea of being labeled a “grandmother.” I’ve since seen the same reaction on some sitcom or movie or something. Anyhow – she pointed out that grandma’s have white hair and are this and that. And she wasn’t those things.

[This unwillingness to accept the idea of being “grandma” led my mom to try and find another name besides grandma. Not mee-ma, not o-ma (or however you spell that), but something new. Something hip and fresh. My sister and I leaped on this and suggested things for my mom and dad like, “tango & cash,” “salt & pepper,” “beavis and butthead,” “cinderella and ugly-stick,” etc. … The Cinderella one I just now made up, the others we did suggest.]

ANYHOW.

I think this reluctance to embrace the idea of being a ‘career’ person is very common among people my age … and I don’t know if it’s a problem or a good thing (I’d lean toward problem but probably just because I’m more old-fashioned) but it boils down to – so what?

I’m not going to quit and join the Peace Corps (though it’d be very neat) because I’d feel like I was doing the wrong thing. I have a nice job, I make money, I’m in a good program at work, I am actually enjoying work … but all the while the thought lingers – ‘is this what I really want?’

I wrote before about how nice the IDEA of writing (and being published and supplementing my income) and being a teacher would be. But the key thing there is the word IDEA – would I enjoy being a teacher, would I be good at it? Who knows.

What’s my point in all this? No point, really. Just complaining. Oh, the terrible woes of a to-be suburbanite. It’s life, and I realize that, but every once and a while you’ve just got to do an old fashioned bitch-session.

If anyone reading this wants to give me a billion dollars to travel the world and read good books – you can take this problem right out of my hands for me. Any takers??

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Weekly Wacko

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Almost Too Much Awesome to Contain?

I noticed Michael Ian Black’s very bizarre twitter background (@michaelianblack) and I thought … I needs me one of those.

SO on this very fine day with clearly too much free time I attacked this project.

This past weekend I went to San Antonio (where the birds are feisty). The girlfriend unit and I were hanging out and she went to take a picture of me, and at the same time someone came up behind me – so I was looking in his direction.

We also went to the zoo and I took some pictures of a jaguar. Why a jaguar? Because they’re really awesome. In fact, many people have said I am quite like a jaguar (pssst that statement is a lie, see here). Anyhow – rad jaguar picture:

Then I thought, what about a background? Here we have a lovely picture I took when my mom and I drove to the Grand Canyon:

So what do we get? Check it out @haikustanley … or just look below:

Thank goodness for Fridays – or crap like this wouldn’t exist.

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Pictures

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