DumbFunnery

Oktoberfest Lesson

In Germany you can get really drunk. Especially when you drink. And drink. And drink. And try to say the word ‘lederhosen’ but instead just giggle til you can’t breathe. And drink.

Today I am sitting on a couch. Moving very little.

Yesterday J kept doing the funniest thing. He would start to laugh. Then that would make me laugh. Now that I think about it, it was probably only funny because I was so, so very drunk.

I’ll take this opportunity to do a little reflection:

Pro for America – I speak the language

Con for America – When I return I will have to work

I can’t believe I thought about work! I have two days of vacation left. I am now going to purge the thought of work by singing to the porcelain pal. I call this one, “ashfuhgsighasilgu” (that’s the sound of me puking).

You’ve Fest with the Rest,

Now Fest with the Best! Here we are in lovely (what country is this?) Munich!

Am I the only person who hears Munich and pictures an evil Vampire? I’m on constant Vamp-watch. I told J about this and he just sighed and shook his head. I told him I still had his back and he did this thing where he loses me in a crowd. He’s always challenging my “have your back” abilities – and I’m up for the challenge.

I don’t want to brag, but the more I’m touring around Europe, the more I feel like Wesley Snipes in Blade. Only I’m not black. And I don’t have any weapons. And I’m not that fit. And I don’t actually believe in Vampires.

I guess what I’m saying is I just seem moody. But hey, if it’s good enough for Blade it’s good enough for me!

Ok, back to looking for J.

Sesame Street vs Muppets

I learned from a twelve year old Swedish boy that the Muppets were a humor television show. And Sesame Street was an educational and humor television show. And that, apparently, I shouldn’t take either of them for gospel.

After he gave me this little speech I asked him where he got such a nice pair of sassy pants from. Did they come from the sassypants store? Or was it a mega store? Maybe 2 pairs of sassy pants for the price of one? Or was there a sassy outfit, with a flippant scarf, a saucy beret, maybe some fresh sneakers? Did it also come with a copy of, “Oscar Wilde and You – Get Your Intelligentsia Bitch On?”

I have to admit I maybe went on a little too long with the sassy pants schtick. That’s only about a quarter of it. Still, it’ll be cool having pictures of me with a black eye in Europe. I plan to print out one or two of those picture and write an amazing story on the back of one of the pictures of how I got the black eye. It will involve a twelve year old who, despite my valiant efforts, could not be rescued from the land-shark. Though I will manage to save the bus full of Swedish models/masseuses/cake-makers. It will be glorious.