The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fantail’

Attn: Ellen (7/3/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres van Gogh

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I must admit – I am a bit of a pack rat. I have a hard time throwing things away, even when they serve no purpose to keep.

But, good news, I have recently discovered a use for my 2 old cell phones!

I’m going to go to a crowded street corner, say something trivial but cryptic into one of my old cell phones (“The zapatos are en route.”) and then throw the phone into the trash.

Just think of the imaginative thoughts I’ll inspire!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (6/26/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres rabbit

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Leave it to art to create new fears in your life. Until recently I wasn’t afraid of giant, highly evolved rabbits trying to take over the world.

Normally I send you postcards to try and get your attention so you’ll invite me on your show … But this time I just want this creepy rabbit out of here.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Attn:Ellen (6/19/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Lion

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Why are lions so religious?

Because they prey as a family!

That’s the joke I’d tell to cause this lion to make that face. Then he’d probably maul me. (Leading to joke 2, “what are you, lion, my teenage kid? I’m sick of being mauled!”)

Ever so sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

 

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with: