The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Baby Announcements and the Internet

It seems like announcing that you are having a kid in a creative and fun way is a new competitive event. I saw two different friends post that they are “egg-specting” on Easter. How long had they been planning this? Probably years! (They had to get the timing just right. An “egg-specting” announcement in December makes no sense, unless you can somehow make it “egg-specting-nog” … but that sounds like some magical drink that gets you pregnant.)

Moving on.

None of the above is my point – and also I guess that means the title is very misleading …

Moving on, again.

HERE’S my reason for posting! My biiiiiiiig joke. The big joke-a-roni. Yes, sir, it’s gonna be worth reading all this nonsense if you just stay with me. Okie doke. Here we go. Ready, set, joke-it-to-me.

I think instead of saying baby, you should always be very specific and say ‘human baby.’ That way you sound like a real crazy! Take these examples … for examples …

  • What a cute human baby!
  • How old is your human baby?
  • Yeah, ever since she baby-sat her niece she has human baby fever.

Welp, there you go. That’s my post.

Attn: Ellen (4/8/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know that feeling where you write weekly postcards to a celebrity who doesn’t know you or respond but when you go to write you can only find a lame pen and you’re tired and lazy and so you just sorta phone it in? That’s kinda how I feel right now.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (4/1/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

That wraps up my India postcards. If you would like to hear more, my co-workers, friends and family would be glad to have someone else listen to me ramble.

Need another reason to have me on your show? You got it: I’m pretty tall, so I could change light bulbs with only a 3-step ladder while others might need a regular ladder.

Think it over!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com or @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?