Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
Now that I am a married man I have big fish to fry. For example, convincing my wife that home birth is the way to go. And then, if it seems like I might convince her, beginning construction of a ship made out of Pyrex kitchen stuff. Why? So our kids can be born on a Pyrex ship!
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
This? It’s just my hand. Oh, wait, you’re pointing to that? That shiny thing? Well, that’s my wedding band!
No, not a musical band that is so tiny you can’t see them with your naked eye. It’s the ring. Why did I call it a band if it’s not music? I don’t know …
But come on, you’re missing the point. It’s my wedding ring band.
What’s a ring band? Umm … Sounds like a band that plays while standing in the shape of a circle at all their concerts? Why do you ask about – Oh.
Ok. Let’s try again. This? It’s my wedding ring!
Yeah, that’s right, I’m married! A married man! I say things like wife and husband and other married people things!
Yes indeed, I guess you could say I have a deeper appreciation for humanity now. I understand things better. I can empathize while planning for a sound foundation for the future. Yessirree, all this because of this magical ring!
Oh it doesn’t suddenly make me more intelligent? More compassionate? More communicative? Well, I beg to differ … Exhibit A, Why did my car insurance payment suddenly drop so dramatically? Hmmm?
That’s right, folks, this ring has changed me overnight! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make tired jokes with my co-workers about gender-stereotype roles in a marriage.
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
In preparation for moving into my fiancé’s apartment (the wedding is Saturday!) I have been moving things to her place and had furniture donated.
My place looks like it was robbed by a book loving, summer clothes wearing, poster fan who didn’t like my couch or TV.
And for that, I thank you, imaginary criminal.
Wish me luck with this whole marriage thing, eh?
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
DumbFunnery 