The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

24/7 Beyoncé

I don’t normally post actual news on my site but sometimes a true story is just too good to pass up.

This story is actually sad for a number of people, but overall I find it funny. Hopefully the people who were laid off have found or will find new jobs and they can have a good old fashioned bitter laugh about the whole thing.

In Houston the radio station 92.1 became News 92.1 FM. The station started in November 2011, a 24/7 news station (according to this article). I liked to listen to them occasionally, but generally I go for music (on long drives) or sports talk radio (what can I say, I’m an ignorant schlub).

This month, the radio station sited bad ratings and laid off all of the employees. Taking its place … a 24/7 Beyoncé station. (My goodness, my computer recognized that Beyoncé was not a word and had the red underline … so I clicked on it and it knew Beyoncé should have the accent. But it doesn’t know the word schlub. What is this?)

I had to tune in and … yep … It was a Beyoncé song.

Several days later I was in my friend’s car and I told them about the 24/7 Beyoncé station. They turned it over and … we didn’t recognize the song. The next song comes on and its definitely not Beyoncé. What what what!

Apparently Beyoncé has a grand total of about 8 hours of music recorded (according to this article). That meant Beyoncé’s music career 3 times a day, every day, all day, always and forever … For a couple days. Now the station is “classic hip-hop” … Which is that thing where Beethoven rapped for 8 hours one time.

 

This is Beyoncé’s ‘You did what with that radio station?’ pose.

 

Attn: Ellen (10/22/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

When I was in the 8th grade my mom, my sister and I visited a college for my sister to see if she’d like it. A guy at the college said to my mom, “oh is your son here to see the college?” to which my mom replied, “no, my daughter.” This caused the guy to give me a long, hard look. Thankfully my sister then came out of the bathroom so the guy’s questions were answered.

This weekend is my bachelor party. My brother and sister are my co-best man. My goal for the bachelor trip is to convince as many people as possible that my sister is a guy.

Wish me luck!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Turn Down For What?

If you haven’t heard, there’s a popular song right now by DJ Snake (yep) and Lil Jon which has the line “turn down for what” said quite frequently.

This begs the question, what are you turning down for?

Turn Down for …

5. Your friend with the relationship troubles in the backseat just got a call … Time to eavesdrop under the guise of letting her hear her conversation better.

4. Your girlfriend is asleep on the coach ten minutes into the movie she wanted to watch but that you didn’t. Volume: muted. XBOX 360? On. Destiny? You betcha.

3. What? Sorry, I had my headphones in. What?

2. Ooooh turn volume off! Turn the volume off! I think I heard my crazy old lady neighbor trying to sing rap songs!

1. You could’ve SWORN the turn was right there … Ugh! Ok, time to turn down the music because that’ll somehow make you less lost.

***

I was going to include the link for the video but then I watched it for the first time and it actually makes the lyrics for the song seem intelligent (aka the video is super dumb). So instead here’s a song I like. (The video is very odd but the song is fun.)