The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

De Jour of the Week (2/7/11)

With some changes at work I have a new boss (my ‘tech lead’). He has a pony-tail! I don’t know why men with pony-tails make me giggle, but they do. He seems like a super smart, nice guy, so that’s cool. But that didn’t stop me from writing this dumb poem.

Ode to My Pony-Tail Boss

Life comes
and life goes
But your pony-tail
ever grows

Men may mock
and women gander
All the while the pony-tail
gets ever grander

Oh!
I picture you sprinting!
Hair flying behind
in the sun glinting!

Does your intellectual prowess
from there derive?
You’ve unlocked
warp-hair-speed drive

His and her sinks
his and her closets
Both you and your wife
make pony-tail holder deposits

I wonder
when you were a boy
Did you have a rat-tail
with dreams of pony-tail joy?

When morale is low
will you say with a smile
“I’ll do pig tails to cheer you up,
“Just for a little while”

Now this poem comes to a close
my boss is looking uncomfortable
I’ve been staring at him and debating
giving his hair a pull

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with:

Breaking NFL News …

The NFL decided, on top of “micing up” some players, to employ some professional lip readers.

Often during games the announcers would say, “well I’m not a lip reader but I think [player/coach] just said [something pertaining to the game.]”

After some deliberation the NFL decided to employ a few professional lip readers to sit with the announcers and provide even more in-depth coverage of football.

Is the NFL full of a bunch of misunderstood intellectuals? No. Here’s a breakdown of what is said:

 

Enjoy the Super Bowl! Since I don’t care about either team here’s hoping for a close game, and good commercials.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (2/2/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

I could see myself sending this to someone and saying, “here I am in NOLA, I saw this and thought of you, horse-face.”

Then I could see that person slapping me for that.

Sincerely,
GetBradStanleyPublished.com

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with: