The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (4/10/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres horse

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

On this postcard you see Sebastian. Sebastian was happily free & living life to the fullest. Then one day he was captured, “broken,” and began his new life living in a stable.

But Sebastian didn’t like this cooped-up life. He got moody (see: the postcard picture). His owners felt bad and decided to let him free. He was too emotional!, they said, living indoors had made him … unstable.

Your daily dose of oy right there!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (4/3/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I realized something ugly about myself today – I have become the guy who invites himself over. Only instead of it being 3rd grade and you have the best video games, I’m 28 and I want to meet you (and maybe a literary agent via your kindness). But don’t worry! I can fix this! I’ll have my mom call your mom and you’ll unknowingly be having me over because your mom is nice and feels bad for me.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (3/27/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres toast

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres toast

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet you didn’t expect to see adorable, self-aware toast today, did you!?

Sounds like a certain somebody owes another certain somebody a visit on their talk show!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. I don’t have a show, so … you know … you’ll have to host …

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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