The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (10/24/12)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres cats

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard cats

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I have this new tactic for dating which is pretty bold, but I think it’s a good way to quickly determine who is crazy.

I do something really weird, like bring a postcard like this and say, “I saw this and thought of you … maybe … us?” And then if the girl wants to leave right away or cut the date short I know she’s a keeper.

I’m still working out the kinks, but I’m optimistic.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/17/12)

Front

Australia Ellen DeGeneres

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Australia Ellen DeGeneres

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

That wraps up my Australia postcards! I loved the trip and I hope you/the postal employees/your security guards/your intern that’s lowest on the totem pole (hey! Friday can’t come soon enough, riiiiight??) enjoyed these postcards too.

In summary, here’s how I would describe Australia: Australia is that kid in class who was really good looking, but you made yourself feel better by assuming he/she was a jerk … but then it turns out he/she is actually really nice, and smart, too. So you hated him/her until getting invited to their awesome party.

Weirdly,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/10/12)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Australia Quokka

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Australia Quokka

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Wow! Yowzers! Dizzang! Not only is Australia great but they have weird science lab islands!

Take Rottnest Island, not far from Perth. Rottnest features that science experiment of animal, the Quokka. You know, the one that’s part kangaroo, part squirrel, part rat and 100% adorable/gross?

Yep, they’re funny little creatures, and that’s no quokka bull sh … huh!? HUH!?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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