The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘the non-review’

An Ode to the Non-Review

I posted a challenge here which Dear Mr. Hendrik won hands down. And not just because he was the only person who responded (although that didn’t hurt his odds).

Here’s the challenge:

“My challenge to you, dear reader(s) – come up with an innuendo phrase that involves socioeconomic. The winner of the challenge will get a very crappy poem written to/about/for them. The poem will probably not make sense, but it will rhyme.”

So without further ado!,

An Ode to the Non-Review

Don’t fall for the trick
Of Mr. T.S. Hendrik
And foolishly misconstrue
The “Non”-Review

If I want my dose snark
With a side of review
Or a cat with a caustic remark
I turn to the “Non”-Review

There’s nothing non about his reviews
He’s looking up movies you haven’t seen while you snooze

But what IS The Non-Review?
(If you don’t already) It’s time you knew:

It’s the land of the 7 Word Weekend Skewer
The land of Pete, the large-toothed ne’er doer
The land of the numerically-oriented (Just the facts, ma’am) reviewer
And, lest we should forget, Wilfred Brimley’s never been bluer

So congratulations to T.S.
Who keeps his fans coming back saying “yes”
Here’s to more Non-Reviews
Something-something, rhyme-aroos

I felt the need for gibberish to end, because I promised that it would rhyme, not that it would make sense.

Want a crappy poem written about you or your blog, or your imaginary cat? Let me know … I may get around to it, if you’re cool enough.

The Internet is Full of Awesome: The Non-Review

The internet is great. It’s sometimes frustrating for me, as someone who hopes to get published, to find a fantastic website because, frankly, things would be much easier if that wasn’t the case. But, while frustrating, I’m happy that there are great things online – and one of these is The Non-Review.

The Internet is Full of Awesome: The Non-Review

1) Based on your personality, if you were an animal, what animal would you be? (This is not what animal you would WANT to be.)

I gotta go with a hedgehog. I prefer  the night, I can get along with just about anyone, and if I feel frightened I roll into a ball.

[Click the pic to get the joke, click the link above to view the article the pic is from.]

2) Everyone else has a super power but you – What super power does everyone else have?*

This is funny to me on a whole different level. I once wrote a book (that I’ve never tried to get published) with a similar theme.

I would have to say everyone else would be able to read each other’s thoughts and I would be left in a muted world.

3) Why do you blog?

For the fame and glory, doi. Ha ha. I went through a two year period where I stopped writing, feeling that I didn’t have enough talent. I thought blogging would be a good way to shake off some rust. Now I’ve just come to enjoy entertaining (or attempting to). If I can do that I’m a happy blogger. I’ve also made a lot of good friends in the process, which is really cool.

4) If you could bring any ONE item back from any movie – what would the item be and from what movie?*

That’s an awesome question. I’m quite greedy so I’m going to stretch the question to the limits and say Robby the robot from Forbidden Planet. He’ll provide me with everything I need from thereon.

5) What is your proudest blog-related moment?

Having Harry Harrison, one of my heroes write a review for my site. Normally the whole celebrity thing does nothing for me but my inner geek couldn’t be contained on that one.

6) What opposite-sex-of-you celebrity would you want to play you in the movie-version of your life?

Dawn French, though she is a little old for the role.

7) Please provide a question for the next blogger interviewed?

If time is moving forward, but everyone keeps looking back, does that mean the future is really just the past?


*My work buddy L came up with these awesome questions. Though he doesn’t know this blog exists.

Big thanks to The Non-Review for answering the questions – be sure to check out his very clever, funny blog here.

And look for another interview next (month? I don’t know) with!

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