The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘the non-review’

An Ode to the Non-Review

I posted a challenge here which Dear Mr. Hendrik won hands down. And not just because he was the only person who responded (although that didn’t hurt his odds).

Here’s the challenge:

“My challenge to you, dear reader(s) – come up with an innuendo phrase that involves socioeconomic. The winner of the challenge will get a very crappy poem written to/about/for them. The poem will probably not make sense, but it will rhyme.”

So without further ado!,

An Ode to the Non-Review

Don’t fall for the trick
Of Mr. T.S. Hendrik
And foolishly misconstrue
The “Non”-Review

If I want my dose snark
With a side of review
Or a cat with a caustic remark
I turn to the “Non”-Review

There’s nothing non about his reviews
He’s looking up movies you haven’t seen while you snooze

But what IS The Non-Review?
(If you don’t already) It’s time you knew:

It’s the land of the 7 Word Weekend Skewer
The land of Pete, the large-toothed ne’er doer
The land of the numerically-oriented (Just the facts, ma’am) reviewer
And, lest we should forget, Wilfred Brimley’s never been bluer …

So congratulations to T.S.
Who keeps his fans coming back saying “yes”
Here’s to more Non-Reviews
Something-something, rhyme-aroos

I felt the need for gibberish to end, because I promised that it would rhyme, not that it would make sense.

Want a crappy poem written about you or your blog, or your imaginary cat? Let me know … I may get around to it, if you’re cool enough.

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The Internet is Full of Awesome: The Non-Review

The internet is great. It’s sometimes frustrating for me, as someone who hopes to get published, to find a fantastic website because, frankly, things would be much easier if that wasn’t the case. But, while frustrating, I’m happy that there are great things online – and one of these is The Non-Review.

The Internet is Full of Awesome: The Non-Review

1) Based on your personality, if you were an animal, what animal would you be? (This is not what animal you would WANT to be.)

I gotta go with a hedgehog. I prefer  the night, I can get along with just about anyone, and if I feel frightened I roll into a ball.

[Click the pic to get the joke, click the link above to view the article the pic is from.]

2) Everyone else has a super power but you – What super power does everyone else have?*

This is funny to me on a whole different level. I once wrote a book (that I’ve never tried to get published) with a similar theme.

I would have to say everyone else would be able to read each other’s thoughts and I would be left in a muted world.

3) Why do you blog?

For the fame and glory, doi. Ha ha. I went through a two year period where I stopped writing, feeling that I didn’t have enough talent. I thought blogging would be a good way to shake off some rust. Now I’ve just come to enjoy entertaining (or attempting to). If I can do that I’m a happy blogger. I’ve also made a lot of good friends in the process, which is really cool.

4) If you could bring any ONE item back from any movie – what would the item be and from what movie?*

That’s an awesome question. I’m quite greedy so I’m going to stretch the question to the limits and say Robby the robot from Forbidden Planet. He’ll provide me with everything I need from thereon.

5) What is your proudest blog-related moment?

Having Harry Harrison, one of my heroes write a review for my site. Normally the whole celebrity thing does nothing for me but my inner geek couldn’t be contained on that one.

6) What opposite-sex-of-you celebrity would you want to play you in the movie-version of your life?

Dawn French, though she is a little old for the role.

7) Please provide a question for the next blogger interviewed?

If time is moving forward, but everyone keeps looking back, does that mean the future is really just the past?

 

*My work buddy L came up with these awesome questions. Though he doesn’t know this blog exists.

Big thanks to The Non-Review for answering the questions – be sure to check out his very clever, funny blog here.

And look for another interview next (month? I don’t know) with CorruptCamel.com!

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