The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘weird’

My Zombie Roomy (1/19/12)

Before I left to go home for Christmas and New Year’s the Zombie and I made a list of sorts of New Year’s resolutions for he and I both to work on. We did this after the gift exchange.

(Which I guess went well? He got me a crappy watch with blood stains on it, and he really wanted me to try it on, so I had to pretend to hurt my wrist. Later I cleaned it up some, which then made me wonder if I was tampering with evidence, but he can be like a little kid and get so sad if he feels like you don’t appreciate something so I figured a cop would understand why I did what I did. Also I was really drunk which probably hampered my thinking.)

I was gone for about a week, and then since I got back I’ve been pretty busy so I guess he got upset? I don’t know. But here’s the New Year’s Resolution list the day we made it …

And here it is earlier today, when I finally noticed it.

Maybe that’s his way of saying he needs to eat better? Or a call for help? Or anger? And where did he get that cookie? And how was the cookie so burnt on the bottom but just right on top? Oh yeah, I ate it. Should I not have? So many questions, so few cookies. What’s the world coming to?

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My Zombie Roomy

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If I Started a Think Tank, Part 2

If you recall (if not here it is), I posted a poll before to come up with the name of the imaginary think tank I would start. The masses responded in force (total votes: 9) and there was a tie between:

  • *Beep, Beep, Beep* – Hey, what’s that sound? Oh, nothing, just that THINK TANK backing up its ideas with SCIENCE and FACTS and such
  • Brain Shells (you know, the weapon of choice of a think tank)

Feel free to comment and force the tie one way or another … or I’ll be forced to use independent thought which is just rude of you, dear reader.

Moving on to today’s topic of interest …

Who will be a part of this Think Tank?

I haven’t extended the invitations just yet, but here is my first cut at the team.

  • The ghost of Albert Einstein, via Mellena Sellena, “Your Guide to the Stars and Life Hereafter”
    (I haven’t met this lady, but I’ve driven by her shop/home a few times and it’s thirty dollars to talk to one dead person, forty-five for two. Soooo …)
  • The ghost of Christmas Future, via Mellena Sellena, “Your Guide to the Stars and Life Hereafter”
    (This one could be a challenge for Mel Sel, I’m assuming she’ll be cool with me calling her that … if not it may not work out. I don’t know if she can contact fictional ghosts, but since I don’t really think people can contact ghosts anyway I figure why not get my money’s worth and make her really use her imagination and creativity.)
  • Lindsay Lohan
    (She will be working the ‘what not to do’ department.)
  • This guy Ed I used to work with, he’s super smart
    (Not only is he super smart but he has an awesome beard.)
  • Yours truly, DumbFunnery!
    (Can you imagine how many hipster chicas I can talk to when I say I’m on a Think Tank?! Why, hello, slightly less empty social calendar!)

What do you think of the team so far? Any suggestions? Would you like to be a part of the team?

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Du Jour of the Week

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My Zombie Roomy (12/20/11)

I racked my brain quite a bit about a gift for the Zombie. It’s incredibly tough.

First of all – communication with this fella is, to say the least, sparse.

Sure, the obvious thing would be to get him brains but … I don’t really like to go for the obvious gift. For tough gift-receivers I will … and this one is a tough one. But here’s trouble numero dos, where do I get brains?

Moving past obvious then … onto weird, but fun. The Zombie is one hard dude to read. Did he like that song? When it was playing he scratched his hand and a finger looked like it almost fell off. Then he chuckled, licked his finger and starting gnawing on my copy of Game of Thrones. From what I can tell he is completely content in any situation.

Bah!

Anyway … whatever, I ended up with a grab bag of gifts. Here we go:

  • Duct tape (if a body part falls off, he’s covered)
  • A new, used copy of a Terry Brooks book (you’d think I was crazy but I swear he only gnaws on fantasy-based books)
  • A framed picture of Scarlett Johansson (it’s a gift for both he and I)
  • I bought some old clothes that in my opinion smell like death – thought it might be like a sort of potpourri for him

Hope he likes something in this set? Let me know if you think of something to add last minute!

P.S. I googled “Scarlett Johansson where she doesn’t look hot” and Google’s response was to play a laugh track … weird!

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My Zombie Roomy

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