The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘zombie’

My Zombie Roomy (2/22/11)

Ruh roh.

Last night I was on facebook, and the Zombie was chilling on the couch next to me. I saw that a friend of mine had checked in somewhere using the application FourSquare, so I said, “oh Miss Amy’s at [bar name], that’s cool.”

The Zombie looked up from the stuffed animal he was chewing on (I started buying him chew toys because the door handle to my bathroom was getting disgusting – he’d just gnaw on it randomly), and he said “brains?”

I had a minor dilemma – I of course didn’t want my friend Amy to be in any danger of being eaten by the Zombie, but I was curious if he actually knew where this bar was. I let him look at the screen, and he looked up at me, seemed to smirk, and said “brains” very confidently. Then he stood up and headed for the door.

I sat on my couch shocked. ‘Oh my God!’ I thought to myself, ‘I think I just killed Amy!’

But right when the Zombie opened the door he started coughing, and coughed up a bunch of stuffing that was in the stuffed animal. I yell at him not to eat the stuffing but he does it anyway. It really upsets me.

Oh yeah and I haven’t seen an update in Amy for a while. That’s also troublesome.

My Zombie Roomy (2/21/11)

The Zombie and I – Chilling

Me watching TV, the Zombie … being a Zombie

Me trying to read, the Zombie hamming it up

The Zombie was trying to tell me to eat healthier – AS IF Zombie!

Sharing is Caring (Talking About Our Day)

[Special thanks to the girlfriend unit – who came up with the idea of the ‘photo shoot’ which led to these pictures and the videos (more to come later this week!). She also did the make up. And she hardly laughed at me, mostly laughing with me. A feat in and of itself.]

Weekly Wacko (63)

I saw this and it made me feel bad for not having gone to church in a LONG while … but I found this funny so here goes.

Born Again Comedy

(Let’s hope that in God’s infinite wisdom, he gets my humor, and gets that I’m a big dummy.)

My family was never consistent about going to Church.

I would wake up some Sunday mornings and hide out in my room, not wanting my parents to know I was already awake. I figured my mom might go to wake my brother, sister and I for Church then she’d say, “well … they’re such Angels when they’re sleeping … We’ll go next week.” (note how I used the word Angel – now that’s comedy!).

Despite my best efforts, we went sometimes. Sometimes meaning more than just Easter and Christmas, but we weren’t ‘religious’ about going (the jokes don’t stop, people).

The Churches we attended tended to be pretty conservative generic Protestant. You’d have your Bible and your Hymnal in front of you.

Turn to page 786 in the Hymnal and let us sing …

Then it’d be some boring drawn out song.

I had the impression that if Church wasn’t stuffy, and if you weren’t dressed stiffly – you weren’t respecting God.

***

In 2000 my family moved to Savannah, Georgia.

We attended Savannah Christian Church.

The pastor was fantastic (my favorite ever – though I have to admit I didn’t really start to pay attention to the sermon until around that time, too).

The music was … different.

There was some sort of ‘rock group’ on the stage.

Guitars in Church?

A DRUMMER?!

This was all new to me.

The people around me started singing these pop Christian songs.

“Jesus, you rock my socks off buuuuddddddy!” (I sincerely hope this is not a real pop Christian song – though I would not be surprised if it was.)

And … what’s this? That guy up there is … raising his arms?

Is he going to strangle someone?

Is he a zombie?

What’s happening?

Does God get bad reception in here? And your arms are rabbit ears?

(Note: If there is a Heaven and Hell, and people get to Heaven and they say, “Brad’s not here? He wasn’t that bad a guy I thought …” I’m in Hell because I thought of this joke today. While I was at Church.)

I couldn’t help but look down and grin – a huge, laughter suppressing grin.

Lucky for me my laugh tends to just be a smile (a ninja laugh, as I call it).

This was new to me.

People ‘feeling it’ or what have you. Raising their arms as they sing and closing their eyes. As though God was, through this poorly written pop song, hugging them.

Eventually the songs stopped and the lead singer began to pray.

Meanwhile, one of the guys on guitar kept going.

Does this prayer have a soundtrack?

Had I missed some part of the Bible where God said He loves a good musical prayer?

***

As this is about Church let me now preach and say: Christians, don’t look down on other Christian services. Christianity is all about love for others, so politely disagree, but focus on the love part.

Also, no offense Christian pop. You’re fine, really. I’m really just interested in the sermon anyway.