Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
My wife and I have lived in Colorado a few weeks now and I have learned the difference between me looking normal vs. me looking like I am dying from the inside out is forgetting to put lotion on just one day before leaving for work.
I think Colorado’s atmosphere might be sponsored by the lotion industry.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery
Not Featured: Microspikes! When the trail got particularly icy (the last 100 yards or so) we put our microspikes on and were able to continue. My wife donned them first, I maintained a tough guy approach and then promptly ate it … Then, with the microspikes on we walked faceplant-free to the top where we had lunch and a thermos full of hot chocolate.
Also not featured: Earlier that day while out on a jog I saw two bald eagles!!
Also also … I’ll get back to writing more at some point but for now I’m just too impressed with how much beauty nature has to offer.
It’s 100 days into THE President Trump’s Presidency … Let’s look at some highlights, shall we?
Day 1 – Trump gets a dog and names it Weakness. Refuses to let it in the White House, tells the nation this dog is a metaphor.
Day 5 – After days of PETA protests, Trump says he’ll personally pay for pita sandwiches for anyone who will boycott PETA’s boycott.
Day 6 – The nation learns how tasty a pita sandwich can be, while about half the nation practically oozes hatred in combination with enjoying a tasty meal.
Day 12 – Trump meets with several foreign leaders for a record breaking seven minutes, he is heard leaving the meeting saying horribly racist things which the nation … eats up? What?
Day 20 – Trump’s temporary spike in popularity drops down when he laughs at someone for being poor.
Day 33 – Trump is accused of pooping in a paper bag and dropping it at the front door of his major political opponent.
Day 50 – Trump heads out on vacation.
Day 70 – Trump’s back, and declares war on a TBD country or countries. Trump says this with the kind of confidence and swagger that practically causes sane people to drop dead.
Day 72 – Trump declares that the word Trump means the number 100. He says no dollar bill is classier than the Trump dollar bill.
Day 79 – The to be determined countries surrender, and the United States is now a “majority shareholder” in Greenland and another country that Trump refuses to share the name of.
Day 85 – Trump attempts to have a journalist who called him Trumpleton fired, and then assassinated. In the end Trump buys the newspaper and fires everyone except the cartoonist, who is instructed to “go nuts”.
Day 92 – Trump embraces the name Trumpleton, declares that it is equal to the number 10.
Day 100 – Trump days into office, or ten Trumpletons, and Trump gives a speech that is monumental in the number of search engine queries for rules on becoming expats.
DumbFunnery 