The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Which Sport is Best?

It’s impossible to say which sport is best because it’s a purely subjective matter. But here’s one thing we can all agree on – attractiveness. With that in mind, it’s easy to determine which sport is best by an attractive representative from each sport.

I looked for countless hours at the most attractive athletes from soccer, football, and baseball and found that the sports come to a surprising draw with not a single attractive athlete. I know, I’m surprised too. From there I went to the next obvious choice: the referees.

 

Pierluigi Collina – Soccer

Soccer Referee

Pierluidi’s calling you out … for a candle-lit dinner.

Gene Steratore – NFL

NFL Referee

Gene wants you to know he’d never call you encroachment on your sexual advances.

 

Jim Joyce – Baseball

Baseball Referee

Jim caught a look in the mirror … Obviously, what he saw was jaw-dropping.

Now that you’ve seen a representative referee for these sports you will undoubtedly come to the same conclusion as myself: we, the fans, are the winners because we get to witness them in action every game.

Lebron James is a person.

Basketball is a sport.

News breaks, but super glue can help.

Wait, am I doing this right?

Oh yeah!

Find out more … at 11.

Attn: Ellen (7/9/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet if there was an actual creature called a ‘snuggle monster’ it would be covered in fur and very strong. Also, like a boa constrictor, it would kills its meals by constricting them – except the snuggle monster would make this look adorable.

The meal’s last thought would be “You like me! You REALLY like me!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?