The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Christmas’

Attn: Ellen (12/9/15)

Front

Ellen242a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen242b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This postcard represents Christmas shopping with absolute accuracy.

Yeti with battle axe = you, the shopper.

Ominous red sky with doom-threatening lightning = traffic around the mall.

Dangerous and possibly deadly castle in the distance = the mall.

Unicorn casting judgement from above = jerk about to steal the parking spot that should be yours.

Good luck out there!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (12/24/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen, Ellen’s staff, the security guards who I believe use these postcards for kindling,

Happy holidays!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (12/25/13)

Front

Ellen150a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen150b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

I hope you have a good visit from Santa, or not, I don’t want to force your hand or anything … So, you know, um, see ya next year.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. This postcard was, apparently, written while watching a Michael Cera movie.

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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