The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘drunk’

Attn: Ellen (3/6/19)

Front

Ellen389a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen389b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

General Grant National Park is the drink ingest National Park.

[] True
[] False

Please respond.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen

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Capturing a New Audience

I’ve decided that I think I want to capture a new audience.

Drunk people!

I’m not going to do this in some sad way like giving recipes for booze, or telling you where the best pizza is (that delivers). No! I’m going to do this in an intelligent, clever way.

I’m going to rely on drunks spelling errors!

Let’s say it’s 2:40 am. A few drunk buddies have just returned home. They are HUNGRY. Man why didn’t you get a frozen pizza or something you JERK. One of them, the least drunk, notices the computer. He sits down and pops up his favorite search engine (google), and types in:

“24/7 pizza delivery”

Only wait, he’s drunk.

“274 piza delifyry”

Oh, hello drunkard! No pizza here, just a bunch of hits for good ol’ DumbFunnery.com! Sure, they’ll laugh at me! Call me dumb, call me crazy, call me a drunk! But I’ll be the one getting all the drunk hits with my new, brilliant tagging system! Every post will be tagged with something clever like:

  • piza
  • chnese food sale
  • drunk funy
  • unsnd txt messag
  • hot ttis chck
  • cragslst misdd msisd missd connectins

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Uncategorized

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If I Started a Think Tank, Part I

Although I am sure you are aware, I will give the definition of a think tank (source):

An institute, corporation, or group organized for interdisciplinary research (as in technological and social problems) – called also think factory

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the phrase ‘think factory’ but that conjures up all kinds of fun, Roald Dahl-esque imagery.

Anyhow. I went to a wine tasting/grading party on Saturday night and I got drunk. In my drunken state I began to daydream about my own think tank.
‘What’s that? DumbFunnery as the originator of a think tank?’
Why, yes, friend. It not only could happen – it WILL happen. But only if you use the phrase ‘think tank’ in a non-traditional, less-work involving way.

First things first, though. What’s the name of my think tank? Here are some ideas. Feel free to vote.

Please feel free to write in other names if you have something good. If your idea is selected, the think tank will tackle any problem of your choosing. Or if that just sounds like I’m relying on you to be creative in two seperate instances, I’ll figure something else out. You jerk.

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Du Jour of the Week

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