The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Stupid Halloween Costume Ideas for … A Couple, With a Dog

Recently I saw my friend Barry at an awesome Houston event, Grown-Up Story Time. (People submit stories, other people read them, you drink a beer, you chill, you laugh, la la lovely.)

After the event, Barry informed me of her and her boyfriend’s Halloween costumes. She’s going to a party with the theme, “A Night in Tijuana” and their costumes will be that the boyfriend is a cowboy, and she is a giant pistol. They’re odd, which is why I like them.

I suggested, because I have a dumb sense of humor, that her dog be a giant shell from a gun. Her boyfriend could pick her up, pretend to shoot, and she would chuck the dog to the floor like a discarded shell. Brilliant addition to that plan, right?

I don’t have a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or dog, but I do have free time. So I took the liberty of informing Barry of other stupid Halloween costume ideas for the three of them. I’ll start with boring, and go quickly to weird …

The dog: A hot dog (clever)
Barry: Ketchup
The boyfriend: Mustard

The dog: A giant joint
Barry: Cheech
The boyfriend: Chong

The dog: Spiderman’s web spray
Barry: Mary Jane
The boyfriend: Spiderman (Just because it’s funny to me to picture him randomly tossing the dog as though he’s web slinging)

The dog: An orca
Barry: Free spirit activist
The boyfriend: A native American hunter

And to still have one with “classic” slutty Halloween costumes …

The Dog: Naughty bodily expulsion (Grosssss)
Barry: Naughty nurse
The Boyfriend: Naughty Doctor

Unexpected Theme Runs

The Mouth Breather Fun Run

Kemah Bridge Run

(Fist-pumping optional, but encouraged)

The Shaved-Armpit, Sure of Your Deodorant Fun Run

Galveston Toughest 10K

(Seriously, doesn’t it look like the guy shaved his armpits?)

Attn: Ellen (10/17/12)

Front

Australia Ellen DeGeneres

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Australia Ellen DeGeneres

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

That wraps up my Australia postcards! I loved the trip and I hope you/the postal employees/your security guards/your intern that’s lowest on the totem pole (hey! Friday can’t come soon enough, riiiiight??) enjoyed these postcards too.

In summary, here’s how I would describe Australia: Australia is that kid in class who was really good looking, but you made yourself feel better by assuming he/she was a jerk … but then it turns out he/she is actually really nice, and smart, too. So you hated him/her until getting invited to their awesome party.

Weirdly,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?