Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is:
Dear Ellen,
After YEARS of hard work NASA scientists did it! A genuinely, truly, awe-inspiringly boring postcard!!
Yessir … after traveling through the stars and amazing planetary pictures NASA zeroes in on … a building.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
If you don’t have a fancy smart phone, you’ve probably got a friend with one. They’re everywhere.
If you’ve been around these people enough you may have seen them grab the phone and talk into it. “Call … Grandma.” Then wha-la, the phone calls your grandma. Or possibly Pakistan (that technology isn’t fool-proof just yet).
Anyhow – it inspired in me this app idea.
Everyone loves teenagers! They’re so precocious, full of zest, and their attitude inspires … something. Don’t you wish you had their colorful outlook all the time? Get TalkBack!
When you speak to your phone, to issue a simple command, TalkBack! kicks in. Several things can happen, just like when you talk to a teenager!
1 – The phone will ignore you.
2 – The phone will respond, letting you know what it thinks of your command. There are over 500 responses with TalkBack! Responses include:
3 – The phone will turn off.
4 – The phone will explain how the F in English is because you’ve yet to get the latest video game, because, I mean really, so much time is wasted walking to and from the friends house who has that game and that time could be spent reading.
5 – The phone will do what you say.
In college I wrote a number of poems that were dumb funny (hey, I’m consistent in my approach). With a few I actually tried to be sweet, like to woo my then-girlfriend. I know I’m not a good poet, but I enjoy writing these little things. And I found this self-hating one funny. This one is called “Reaction” and it was a poem about my then-girlfriends reaction to all the bad poetry coming her way.
If I had to guess, this poem was probably written to get her to say she did like my poetry.
I’m sick, sick, sick of your “poetry”
Great. Another five year old’s rhyme, written for me.
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Why do boyfriends think they’re unique?
Bad poems by a math guy? You made my week.
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Do me a favor, please, take your time.
It’s not necessarily good if you make it rhyme.
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Haven’t you noticed the hints when you read to me?
Big yawns, my staring at the clock, longingly!?
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It’s not just boredom, it’s even my health
My eyes have rolled so much I’m stuck looking at myself.
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The first time it was sweet
But now, my dear, notice my exit on fleet feet.
DumbFunnery 