The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Which Sport is Best?

It’s impossible to say which sport is best because it’s a purely subjective matter. But here’s one thing we can all agree on – attractiveness. With that in mind, it’s easy to determine which sport is best by an attractive representative from each sport.

I looked for countless hours at the most attractive athletes from soccer, football, and baseball and found that the sports come to a surprising draw with not a single attractive athlete. I know, I’m surprised too. From there I went to the next obvious choice: the referees.

 

Pierluigi Collina – Soccer

Soccer Referee

Pierluidi’s calling you out … for a candle-lit dinner.

Gene Steratore – NFL

NFL Referee

Gene wants you to know he’d never call you encroachment on your sexual advances.

 

Jim Joyce – Baseball

Baseball Referee

Jim caught a look in the mirror … Obviously, what he saw was jaw-dropping.

Now that you’ve seen a representative referee for these sports you will undoubtedly come to the same conclusion as myself: we, the fans, are the winners because we get to witness them in action every game.

Attn: Ellen (7/9/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet if there was an actual creature called a ‘snuggle monster’ it would be covered in fur and very strong. Also, like a boa constrictor, it would kills its meals by constricting them – except the snuggle monster would make this look adorable.

The meal’s last thought would be “You like me! You REALLY like me!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (7/2/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Can you imagine the impact it would have if instead of people buying colorful napkins and paper plates and mini-flags and just the right clothes people instead put the money for 4th of July decorations squarely to the national debt?

…But those red, white & blue socks are awfully cool …

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?