The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Working on My Communication

In light of her telling me
(Not so succinctly,
I might add ironically)
That communication is to me what the heel is to Achille

I want to compliment her with words that will be like flowers
Yes, I’ll unleash my verbal super powers
(I could pontificate for hours and hours)

It is imponderable
How can you pack a baleful
Of kindness in that skull
AND be a heaven-sent eyeful.
It’s almost intolerable
How you can be so beautiful
And conversationally wonderful.

Yes, my darling, my sweet, I should compliment you more often
So that your look, in that cute way, will soften
And you will stop imagining me in my coffin

Just answer me this question
(Which is a not-so-subtle suggestion)
If I’m the one working on my communication
(In an attempt to avoid future condemnation)

How many more times could I have said I wanted to watch this game?
So please … love muffin … move out of the frame.

My Zombie Roomy (2/7/13)

Classic good news, bad news situation.

Good news – the Zombie made friends! Finally no more guilt when I get home at the end of a long day of work and feel like the poor guy has been neglected. No more worrying what crazy nonsense he’ll get up to out of boredom when I go away for a long weekend or on some trip. He really is pretty creative in the different ways he makes me afraid for my mental stability.

Bad news – The Zombie’s friends are other zombies.

See what I mean about mental stability?

More later, he’s heading out the door so I’m going to follow him.

Attn: Ellen (2/6/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Star Wars

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Star Wars

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Can you blame him? Can you really blame Yoda for being so angry? The “smallest hands”? Come on. It’s Star Wars! There are bound to be smaller hands! Or maybe it’s the fate thing. Or maybe indigestion. I don’t know.

I’m just spit balling here.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?