The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

A New Regret

Recently I have realized a regret that I didn’t know until … recently. I wish I had done a radio show in college.

At my college they were easy to get and there’s absolutely no pressure because no one is listening to you!

But wait, you think, if no one is paying attention what’s the point? What would you do? Who would you interview?

The point is I would do whatever I want! I would interview myself pretending to be other people (giving me a chance to do silly voices and impressions). I’ve got news people, we all have that one friend who likes to do accents or impressions – those people are only TOO ready to do accents or impressions. No one is more dazzled by their accents/impressions than themselves.

Would I care that no one is listening to me (as myself) asking questions of myself (as a meat head or stereotypical sorority girl or gay German man named Gunter)? No! I wouldn’t care at all! Because my target audience (me) would be listening!

Of course I would love it if people tuned in because maybe, just maybe, someone would say something to acknowledge something I feel is a genuine skill and comedic talent … But the shameful part is if I get sad enough, I will just make up a new voice of some over the top enthusiastic supporter and then interview him and maybe for good measure throw in an “angry caller number 7” voice and then I would moderate the conversation as myself and radio drama would ensue.

Oh college radio show, what fun we would’ve had. My self-created, 7 views one with one dislike best of radio show highlights youtube video would’ve been a regular watch as my days went by.

P.S. I have been watching a lot of Futurama so maybe I am jealous of being a voice actor.

P.P.S. That whole doing this for my own amusement also explains a LOT of this blog.

Category:

Weekly Wacko

Tagged with:

Jokes from Doug

A while back my girlfriend and I ate at a small, simple restaurant. The place didn’t seem like it was going to be much – but it was the exact kind of restaurant you’d see in a movie set in a small town. The people who worked there were all nice, the food was amazing, and there was an old man with a guitar who played there on Friday nights for everyone’s amusement.

The man’s name was Doug. He sang songs like Mr. Bojangles. He seemed like an old west/Texas traveling musician who (based on his playing there) had never hit it big but still loved the life of music. I lack the words to describe him, but he seemed like he belonged in a painting rather than real life.

As if the sight of him and his musical talents weren’t enough, he told dorky little jokes between songs. Of course he did. To illustrate the small town movie feeling, this was an exchange he had with a waitress:

“(To waitress) Hey Emily, Where’s Scott?”
“He fell in love with a girl and moved to Austin.”

Now for the rest of Doug’s lovely jokes.

Got a quick costume change … (Switches guitars)

This next song was requested. Not tonight, or last night, but about 5 months ago when I was in Oklahoma.

I went to a workshop on how to write songs. The first thing they told you was the song had to be about something. (Sort of scoffs.) so this next song is about 3 minutes.

They like me playing here because I don’t take breaks. I fidget too much when I take a break and I want to smoke. I gave up smoking … About 7 years ago now. It was March of 2006. I gave up smoking and yodeling for Lent … I haven’t been able to stay away from yodeling. (He yodelled in that song and it was very good.)

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (2/19/14)

Front

Ellen158a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen158b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here you go! You get part one of my ultra post modern art! (If I don’t deserve a gallery showing, who does!?)

(Awesome picture – you should really look at the postcard …)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

If you think this makes no sense, try reading last week’s. It might help (might).

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with: