The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Modern Day Mechanics

With the way computers are coming up so big, and people of all backgrounds are buying them – tech geeks are the modern day mechanics.

“Uhhh … hey, I have a question.”
“Yes, sir, how can I help you today?”
“Yeah … So … Uh … My computer … Um … Is always making noise. And I want it to stop.”
“Making noise, sir?”
“Yeah. Like … whirrrrr.”
“Sir?”
“Umm … ya know … it’ll just be sitting there and then … whirrrr.”
“Is this a laptop or a desktop?”
“It’s … uh … what’re … oh! It’s a lap – top.”
“You need a cooling fan. Aisle fourteen B.”
“A cooling fan?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What? What do you take me for? Are you guys just making up new parts all the time? This is –“
“We have a special right now, only fifteen dollars.”
“Oh … ok. Which aisle? Fourteen?”

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Short Short Stories

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Oh, THERE’S Waldo

This past weekend I went to a minor league hockey game, with the Houston Aeros playing the Binghamton Senators for the Calder’s Cup (let’s go Aeros!).

Not too long after I sat down, none other than Waldo walked by.

That’s fun, right? Dressing up like Waldo at a crowded event? Pretty funny and clever I think.

What really cracked me up though was a little phone conversation Waldo had. He pulled out his phone, called someone, and,

“Hey! … Yeah look up … Look behind you …” That’s when Waldo stood up, waving his cane a bit, “Can you see me?”

Are you serious!? Waldo was, without a trace of humor, and without telling his friend, starting a real-life Where’s Waldo! And no one around was cracking up at this!

(Not the Wizard, not the girl version of Waldo, not Odlaw, not the dog … not even Waldo’s old nemesis Odlaw. I couldn’t resist this joke, sorry.)

The guy probably came as Waldo to reach one goal – the jumbotron …

I have a new goal in life, and it is to get a few friends together, dress up in the various Waldo character costumes, and go hang out together. Head to a bar, maybe a sporting event. For any geek who spent too much time looking at Where’s Waldo books it’d be like a dream come true – they will have finally found all of them, and they won’t have to deal with the feeling of having just wasted time for no reason.

[I’ll also add that Waldo drank a lot, and got pretty aggressive with his yelling … which also makes me laugh, to think that maybe Waldo was hiding not from you, but from the police. He had probably just committed aggravated assault.]

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Weekly Wacko

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Attn: Ellen (6/1/11)

Front



Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

Today I watched “The Princess and the Frog.” It was good! I hadn’t expected to like it that much. But … now I really want some good gumbo.

Not only did this movie inspire thoughts of gumbo, it also inspired this joke:

A black Disney princess?! What’s next, a black president!?!

Har. Har.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn: Ellen

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