Well, I Uh … I …
This park where my friends and I hiked was really concerned about people picking up after their dogs. I’m kicking myself for not having taken a picture of the second sign all by itself.
Posts tagged ‘gross’
My Zombie Roomy (8/16/11)
Remember when the Zombie was going through a weird weight-concerned phase? Well, it’s back. Only now it’s me who is concerned.
The Zombie has put on a lot of weight, and not like a human would. The Zombie has started carrying a backpack at all times, and it is insanely full. I don’t know what is in that thing but it must be from some fancy backpack shop like REI because how has it not broken?
I tried to look what is inside one time but he got angry and swatted me away. I told him I respect his privacy and wouldn’t look. He responded by offering a dance fight (our traditional Friday night thing if I’ve got no other plans). We danced for a while and I felt a lot better.
Until I noticed the jumbo-sized bottle of Gatorade with a hand in it.
However, I love a good joke, so I took out a bottle of regular Gatorade and said cheers, and the Zombie ate a hand while I drank Gatorade. Dance fights make me so thirsty.
It’s disconcerting how ok I am with the Zombie’s eating habits. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t let the Zombie eat in my house but now I allowed him to break that rule. We’ll see how this pans out.
De Jour of the Week (1/24/11)
I know I’ve already touched on this – but seriously it’s gross when people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. Especially, as one co-worker does, if they’ve just used the stall and don’t wash their hand.
People are Gross
It’s 230 and something’s the matter
And the matter is my bladder
At lunch, free refills on coke? I’ll take another round
My ability to stop could not be found
And now it’s 230 and there’s that pressing MATTER
Yes, it’s my grandpa bladder
Up, up, and away to the little boys room
An ‘accident’ at work would be office-talk doom
There’s Jerry, there’s Bob – the fellas sit a few cubes over
The urinals sing, red rover, red rover, send bladders right over
Sweet relief! I couldn’t be happier
I head to the sinks to clean my hands this day once more
There … goes … Jerry?
That stinking, disgusting, I never want to share a stapler, printer, office with … Jerry.
Homeboy doesn’t even LOOK at the sink!
He checked himself out in the mirror, but all I see is a fink.
And Bob. Oh, Bob. He rinsed his hands then ‘touched up’ his hair
(Though to be fair, let’s be honest Bob, there’s not much there)
Bob, it’s called soap
Learn it, live it, love it, you dope
Bob, you disgust me
Urine is gross, Jerry
Oh – I hadn’t even noticed Doug in the stall
And now Doug’s glancing at the mirrors … don’t tell me that’s all
I’ll end the poem here –
I’ve made my point clear
People don’t wash their hands, and that’s a fact
So the next time you go to shake hands, consider a retract
Ladies, and fellas, if you catch someone not washing their hand
Wait til they’re in public, then reprimand, reprimand, reprimand.
DumbFunnery 